Subject: Work » Occupations

People were laughing at me anyway, so I thought “F**k it, I might as well start charging them.”

(1975 – ) English comedian
Occupations Work

Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Occupations Work

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

… there are three sexes – men, women, and clergymen.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Occupations People

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.

Conversation Definitions Occupations

An economist is someone who, on being shown something that works in practice, wonders if it would work in theory.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Occupations Work

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

The longer the title, the less important the job.

(1922 – 2012) American historian, author, U.S. Representative & Senator (South Dakota)
Occupations Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Occupations Science/Weather Work

When I was a kid I used to play doctor with this little girl in my neighborhood and one time we got caught… luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing golf.

comedian
Doctors Occupations Work

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death Insults Occupations People Work

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

No real English gentleman, in his secret soul, was ever sorry for the death of a political economist.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Occupations Work

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

How do you know if you've got a good mechanic? … by the size of his boat.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Occupations Work

This isn’t exactly a stable business; it’s like trying to stand up in a canoe with your pants down.

(1925 – 2011) American actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor
Communication Occupations Speech Work

What do you give a florist who is sick?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Occupations Work