Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 10)

[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication Occupations Work

The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Occupations People Sports Work

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

I once had an accountant who was so good with numbers he eventually got to wear one for ten to fifteens years.

American comedy writer
Occupations Work

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Communication Intelligence Occupations Work

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Seven months ago I could give a single command and 541,000 people would immediately obey it; today I can’t get a plumber to come to my house.

(1934 – 2012) United States Army general
Occupations Success Work

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Occupations Work

So the rule is, if you screw up just one too many job interviews, you become a stand-up comedian.

(1970 – ) American comedian & television game show host
Occupations Work

History repeats itself; historians repeat one another.

(1887 – 1915) English poet
History Occupations Time

Everyone should have to wait tables for one year of their lives, so they realize their ranch dressing isn’t that fucking important.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Life Occupations People Work

History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.

(1889 – 1944) English historian
History Occupations Time

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

You know I'm the only Iraqi comedian… yeah true… at least that makes us three more than Germany.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Occupations People Places Work

“Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.

Occupations Wordplay Work

Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.

Conversation Definitions Occupations