Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 10)

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

I used to work for a living, then I became an actor.

(1927 – ) English actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

How do you know if you've got a good mechanic? … by the size of his boat.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Occupations Work

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

This isn’t exactly a stable business; it’s like trying to stand up in a canoe with your pants down.

(1925 – 2011) American actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

(1974 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Occupations Work

No real English gentleman, in his secret soul, was ever sorry for the death of a political economist.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Occupations Work

What’s interesting about sports writers is that they don’t know how to play sports, and a lot of them don’t know how to write.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.

(1904 – 1980) American critic & author
Communication Occupations Work

A critic is a legless man who teaches running.

(1880 – 1946) American playwright, critic & writer
Communication Occupations Work

Growing up, all I wanted was a racecar bed, but by parents refused to get me one.. but now that I’m doing comedy, I get to sleep in a real car.

American comedian
Occupations Work

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor
Communication Occupations Speech Work

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large number of people from coughing.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations

Interior Decorator: A man who does things to your house he wouldn’t dream of doing to his own.

Definitions Occupations

[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication Occupations Work

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work