Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 11)

The difference between a chef and a cook is the difference between a wife and a prostitute; cooks do meals for people they know and love, chefs do it anonymously for anyone who’s got the price.

(1954 – ) British writer & critic
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

Everybodyworks for the sales department

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work

Everyone should have to wait tables for one year of their lives, so they realize their ranch dressing isn’t that fucking important.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Life Occupations People Work

It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

(1806 – 1871) English mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Government Lawyers Occupations Work

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.

(1892 – 1984) American publisher
Occupations Work

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Education Misspokements Occupations

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

I once had an accountant who was so good with numbers he eventually got to wear one for ten to fifteens years.

American comedy writer
Occupations Work

Next to the writer of real estate advertisements, the autobiographer is the most suspect of prose artists.

(1921 – 2012) American music critic & journalist
Books Communication Occupations Work

Working at the Job center has to be a tense job… knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.


Occupations Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

The two most important jobs in America are held by foreigners – room service and goal-kicking.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator
Occupations People Sports Work

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Occupations Work

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work

My first job consisted of me answering a phone… but it wasn't for me.

British comedian
Occupations Self Work

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work