Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 12)

Ambassador: An honest man sent abroad to lie for the good of his country.

(1568 – 1639) English author, diplomat & politician
Government Occupations

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Occupations Ugly Work

The chief distinction of a diplomat is that he can say no in such a way that it sounds like yes.

(1897 – 1972) Canadian prime minister
Government Occupations Work

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor
Communication Occupations Speech Work

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Occupations People Self Work

No real English gentleman, in his secret soul, was ever sorry for the death of a political economist.

(1826 – 1877) English economist & journalist
Occupations Work

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Occupations Work

Sailors ought never to go to church; they ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Occupations Work

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

A censor has the peculiar faculty of banning just what we want to hear, see,

Occupations Work