Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 12)

The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job… especially if you’ve got hay fever

(1964 – ) English comedian
Health Occupations Work

I got a new job stitching shoes; it was so-so.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Occupations Work

Experimental psychologist: A scientist who pulls habits out of rats.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Definitions Occupations Wordplay Work

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

… being a miner, as soon as you are too old and tired and sick and stupid to do the job properly, you have to go… well, the very opposite applies with judges.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Occupations Work

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

The only difference between a “hair stylist” and a regular barber is the price.

Occupations Work

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

Critics are to authors what dogs are to lamp-posts.

(1945 – ) American author
Occupations Work

Plumber: A drain surgeon.

Definitions Occupations

I wish I had put ballet shoes on him and not boxing gloves.

Boxing Occupations Sports

I dedicate this show to my dad who was a roofer… so dad, if you’re up there…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Family Fathers Occupations Work

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work

I learned in business that you had to be very careful when you told somebody that’s working for you to do something, because the chances were very high he’d do it; in government, you don’t have to worry about that.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics Government Occupations People Work