Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 2)

Next to the writer of real estate advertisements, the autobiographer is the most suspect of prose artists.

(1921 – 2012) American music critic & journalist

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Expert: An ordinary man away from home giving advice.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

It’s just a job; grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand… I beat people up.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

Matt Thompson (1965 – ) American comedian

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. – unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.

(1928 – ) American R&B and rock & roll singer-songwriter

Sailors ought never to go to church; they ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

(1866 – 1946) English author

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn’t want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn’t remember to people who’ve already heard them.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer

The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

What do you give a florist who is sick?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer