Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 4)

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Easiest job in the world of course, Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday… how you doing… no worries next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Places Work

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
Occupations Work

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Here’s some advice: At a job interview, tell them you’re willing to give 110 percent… unless the job is a statistician.

Comedian
Occupations Work

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.


(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer
Government Occupations Work

“Pickup artists” and “garbagemen” should switch names.

Occupations Wordplay Work

If I’m making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can’t ever piss me off.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Money Occupations Sports Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music Occupations Work

There's no business like show business… but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Occupations Work

It’s just a job; grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand… I beat people up.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

An actor is the kind of guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.

(1910 – 1984) American film producer & publicist
Acting Entertainment Occupations

Plumber: A drain surgeon.

Definitions Occupations

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

The pay is good and I can walk to work.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Government Occupations President Work

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Entertainment Occupations Speech Work