Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 4)

A censor has the peculiar faculty of banning just what we want to hear, see,

Occupations Work

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work

There may be said to be three sorts of lawyers, able, unable, and lamentable.

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Lawyers Occupations Work

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.

(1904 – 1980) American critic & author
Communication Occupations Work

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

The profession of a prostitute is the only career in which the maximum income is paid to the newest apprentice.

(1829 – 1912) British preacher who founded The Salvation Army
Occupations Work

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Occupations Sports Work

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Expert: An ordinary man away from home giving advice.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Occupations People

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Money Occupations Time Work

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

(1974 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

If a scientist were to cut his ear off, no one would take it as evidence of a heightened sensibility.

(1915 – 1987) Brazilian/British biologist
Intelligence Occupations Science/Weather Work

Dinosaurs with Jobs

Book Titles Occupations Work

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

An actor is the kind of guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.

(1910 – 1984) American film producer & publicist
Acting Entertainment Occupations

A critic is a legless man who teaches running.

(1880 – 1946) American playwright, critic & writer
Communication Occupations Work

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Definitions Occupations

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.


(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer
Government Occupations Work