Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 5)

Dinosaurs with Jobs

Book Titles Occupations Work

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Occupations Work

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations

Four hundred bucks an hour for being sort of nice to sad people.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Doctors Health Money Occupations

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

We’re all endowed with God-given talents… mine happens to be hitting people in the head.

American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports

So the rule is, if you screw up just one too many job interviews, you become a stand-up comedian.

(1970 – ) American comedian & television game show host
Occupations Work

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Education Misspokements Occupations

Working at the Job center has to be a tense job… knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.


Occupations Work

The profession of a prostitute is the only career in which the maximum income is paid to the newest apprentice.

(1829 – 1912) British preacher who founded The Salvation Army
Occupations Work

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work

Plumber: A drain surgeon.

Definitions Occupations

Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description.

(1953 – ) American author, journalist & opinion columnist
Occupations Work

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.


(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer
Government Occupations Work

I used to work for a living, then I became an actor.

(1927 – ) English actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work