Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 5)

History repeats itself; historians repeat one another.

(1887 – 1915) English poet
History Occupations Time

I would not want to be a mobile home repo man… Knock knock… “Hi, would you go cut your grass and look that way for a half an hour?”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Occupations Work

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

… there are three sexes – men, women, and clergymen.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Occupations People

Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? … all you do is change the words.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Occupations Reading/Writing Work

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Government Lawyers Occupations Work

A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Occupations Work

Generals who can write always make me nervous.

(1921 – ) American newspaper editor
Government Military Occupations

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Occupations Ugly Work

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession a good accountant is a debit to his profession.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant
Occupations Work

People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.

(1946 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

So the rule is, if you screw up just one too many job interviews, you become a stand-up comedian.

(1970 – ) American comedian & television game show host
Occupations Work

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

A pin has as much head as some authors and a good deal more point.

(1802 – 1870) American writer & editor
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Money Occupations Time Work

I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give it up. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football. And I have 20-20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Occupations Sports Work

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

Most anybody can be a cowboy, but it takes a damn genius to make money at it.

Money Occupations Work