Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 7)

In a surplus labor economy, the squeaking wheel does not get the grease; it gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

Everyone should have to wait tables for one year of their lives, so they realize their ranch dressing isn’t that fucking important.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Life Occupations People Work

Cabinet Maker: Counter fitter.

Definitions Occupations

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

My first job consisted of me answering a phone… but it wasn't for me.

British comedian
Occupations Self Work

It’s just a job; grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand… I beat people up.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Occupations Work

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Work

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Those who cannot teach – administrate.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Government Lawyers Occupations Work

Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.

(1946 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Definitions Occupations