Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 7)

Chef: A man with a big enough vocabulary to give the soup a different name every day.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations Work

Auditor: A person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.

Definitions Occupations

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

The faults of the burglar are qualities of the financier.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Occupations Work

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
America Government Intelligence Occupations Places Work

I once had an accountant who was so good with numbers he eventually got to wear one for ten to fifteens years.

American comedy writer
Occupations Work

Judge: Mr Smith, you must not direct the jury. What do you suppose I am on the bench for?

Smith: It is not for me, your honour, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Law Occupations Work

In a surplus labor economy, the squeaking wheel does not get the grease; it gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Everybodyworks for the sales department

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Without drugs, I would have never got my job… selling drugs.


Activities Drugs Occupations Work

Electrician: A person who wires for money.

Definitions Occupations Work

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations

Some accountants are comedians, but comedians are never accountants.

(1929 – 2001) English barrister
Occupations Work

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

A critic is someone who never actually goes to the battle, yet who afterwards comes out shooting the wounded.

(1946 – ) American stage & screen actress
Beliefs Communication Occupations Work

There's no business like show business… but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Occupations Work

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

Businessman: One who could have made more money with less trouble in an easier line.

Definitions Occupations

I think that’s what they call professional courtesy.

(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Occupations

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work