Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 7)

We are paid to have dirty minds.

(1903 – 1986) American film censor
Entertainment Film Occupations Work

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
Occupations Work

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

Acting: A good training for political life; the only problem is the speeches are harder to learn.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations

Here's a six-foot-ten guy in sneakers and the lady's asking me, 'Profession?'


Basketball Occupations Sports Work

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.

(1892 – 1984) American publisher
Occupations Work

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

If I’m making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can’t ever piss me off.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Money Occupations Sports Work

A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Communication Occupations Work

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations

I'm not an actor, and I enclose met press cuttings to prove it.

(1915 – 1999) American stage, film & television actor
Acting Occupations Work

Telemarketer: A minimum waged person who calls a bunch of people on a list to sell them something that they probably don’t need, and gets hung up on because the person being called usually has a mouth full of food.

Definitions Occupations

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. – unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.

(1928 – ) American R&B and rock & roll singer-songwriter
Education Occupations School Work

Plumber: A drain surgeon.

Definitions Occupations

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

Putting an ex-fighter in the business world is like putting silk stockings on a pig.

boxing manager, trainer & cornerman
Boxing Occupations Sports

The Pope has come out and said that only 2 per cent of Catholic priests are paedophiles; unfortunately, that  2 per cent is their penis.

Canadian comedian
Occupations Work

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

(1913 – 1996) Hungarian mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Diplomat: A headwaiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. 

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government Occupations