Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 9)

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

The chief distinction of a diplomat is that he can say no in such a way that it sounds like yes.

(1897 – 1972) Canadian prime minister
Government Occupations Work

So the rule is, if you screw up just one too many job interviews, you become a stand-up comedian.

(1970 – ) American comedian & television game show host
Occupations Work

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

Critics are to authors what dogs are to lamp-posts.

(1945 – ) American author
Occupations Work

In a surplus labor economy, the squeaking wheel does not get the grease; it gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Occupations Opinion

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music Occupations Work

It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.

(1904 – 1980) American critic & author
Communication Occupations Work

Judge: Mr. Smith, have you ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that youth and discretion are ill-wed companions?

Smith: Indeed I have, your Honour; and has your Honour ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that a much talking Judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Insults Occupations Work

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work

The difference between a chef and a cook is the difference between a wife and a prostitute; cooks do meals for people they know and love, chefs do it anonymously for anyone who’s got the price.

(1954 – ) British writer & critic
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.

(1894 – 1980) American labor organizer
Occupations Work

It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, eat hot dogs and stare at the cart girl's tits all day if you are performing brain surgery.

Golf Occupations Sports Work

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work

Sailors ought never to go to church; they ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Occupations Work

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

Electrician: A person who wires for money.

Definitions Occupations Work