Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 9)

When I told my mom I wanted to grow up and be a comedian, she said you can’t do both.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Occupations Work

It’s the gossip columnist’s business to write about what is none of his business.

(1904 – 1980) American critic & author
Communication Occupations Work

An actor is the kind of guy who, if you ain't talking about him, ain't listening.

(1910 – 1984) American film producer & publicist
Acting Entertainment Occupations

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

Cosmologists are often in error, but never in doubt.

(1908 – 1968) Soviet physicist
Occupations Science/Weather Work

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music Occupations Work

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession a good accountant is a debit to his profession.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant
Occupations Work

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Government Occupations Taxes

Never trust a ventriloquist or a barber.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes

There are worse things in life than death… and if you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Occupations Work

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

(1974 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work

Those who cannot teach – administrate.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Communication Intelligence Occupations Work

It’s just a job; grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand… I beat people up.

(1942 – ) American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Occupations Ugly Work

Lawyers are operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.

(1939 – ) American financial journalist
Lawyers Occupations

History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.

(1889 – 1944) English historian
History Occupations Time