Subject: Work (Page 12)

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

(1911 – ) American editor & writer
Government Occupations

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

Time Work

1. You can't get anything without working for it.
2. The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
3. You can only break even at absolute zero.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Seven months ago I could give a single command and 541,000 people would immediately obey it; today I can’t get a plumber to come to my house.

(1934 – 2012) United States Army general
Occupations Success Work

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handy man with a sense of humus.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Work

A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Occupations Work

Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? … all you do is change the words.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Occupations Reading/Writing Work

The ratio of time involved in work to time available for work is usually about 0.6.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

It was a tough gig; they had to wake me up to fire me.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Situations Work

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you’re away and get nothing done, there’s another when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

(1869 – 1946) American bridge builder & engineer
Activities Work

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Definitions Occupations Work

Diplomat: A headwaiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. 

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government Occupations

The relationionship of an agent to a publisher is that of a knife to a throat.

(1927 – ) American Talent & literary agency executive
Occupations Work

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Work

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Life Wealth Work

A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Communication Occupations Work

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Housework Things Time Work

Officials make work for each other.

Murphy’s Laws People Work