Subject: Work (Page 15)

Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Work

I don’t want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Life Work

There are two essential rules of management:
One: the customer is always right.
Two: they must be punished for their arrogance.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.


(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer
Government Occupations Work

Hardening and Tempering Engineers’ Tools

Book Titles Occupations Work

The one who does the least work will get the most credit.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Work

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

Lawyers are operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must pass.

(1939 – ) American financial journalist
Lawyers Occupations

When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

Murphy’s Laws Work

If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.

(1922 – ) American economist
Intelligence Occupations Work

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Occupations People Self Work

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer
Computers Occupations Things Work

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Health People Self Work

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

I wish I had put ballet shoes on him and not boxing gloves.

Boxing Occupations Sports

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Government Money Taxes Work

I went on a job interview and the lady asked me if I’d pass a drug test; I said, “Yeah, if it’s written.”

American comedian
Drugs Work