Subject: Work (Page 16)

I really like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Housework Things Time Work

I was a trapeze artist…. but I was let go.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Problems Work

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Communication Intelligence Occupations Work

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Entertainment Film People Work

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handy man with a sense of humus.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Work

Astronomer: Night watchman.

Definitions Occupations

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

The pay is good and I can walk to work.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Government Occupations President Work

If work were good for you, the rich would leave none for the poor.

Proverbs Work

There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices… in the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Places Work

Only a fool can reproduce another fool’s work.

Fools Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Work

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics Work

The difference between a chef and a cook is the difference between a wife and a prostitute; cooks do meals for people they know and love, chefs do it anonymously for anyone who’s got the price.

(1954 – ) British writer & critic
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Work

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Work