Subject: Work (Page 17)

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

An economist is someone who, on being shown something that works in practice, wonders if it would work in theory.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Occupations Work

[Critics] search for ages for the wrong word, which, to give them credit, they eventually find.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Communication Occupations Work

Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.

(1894 – 1980) American labor organizer
Occupations Work

Unemployment: The usual alternative to overwork.

Definitions Work

Hockey is the only job I know where you get paid to have a nap on the day of the game.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Sports Work

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Time Work

If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.

(1922 – 1999) labor union leader, president of the AFL-CIO
Money Wealth Work

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Murphy’s Laws Things Work

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Work

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot; finish last in medical school and they call you doctor.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors Health Occupations Sports Work

Acting is a form of confusion.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

If work were good for you, the rich would leave none for the poor.

Proverbs Work

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

Architects: People who now have to measure their patrons for the breakfast nook.

Definitions Occupations

The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

A good painter need not give a name to his picture, a bad one must.

Proverbs Work