Subject: Work (Page 18)

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession a good accountant is a debit to his profession.

(1797 – 1875) American accountant
Occupations Work

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

A critic is a man who knows the way but can’t drive the car.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Communication Occupations Work

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

There's no real need to do housework – after four years it doesn't get any worse.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Housework Situations Work

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things Work

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Work

Faustino the Great: How long you study music?
Mr. Lyons: Fifteen years.
Faustino the Great: Fifteen? … You know, two more years, you could’ve been a plumber.

(1887 – 1961) comedian, actor & member of the Marx Brothers
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics Work

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Life Wealth Work

When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

Murphy’s Laws Work

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

The pay is good and I can walk to work.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Government Occupations President Work

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Easiest job in the world of course: Australian psychiatrist, “Gday Gday how you doing… no worries… next.”

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Work

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work