Subject: Work (Page 20)

If I’m making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can’t ever piss me off.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Money Occupations Sports Work

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Second-rate people hire third-rate people.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

Last week the candle factory burned down… everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Situations Things Work

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Ideas Intelligence Work

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous; when I was sixty-five, I still had pimples.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Work

History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.

(1889 – 1944) English historian
History Occupations Time

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there’s not a lot of teaching involved in that.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Occupations Work

A high paying rush job comes in only after you've committed to a low paying rush job.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Exercise Work

I don’t think I got the job at Microsoft™… they didn’t respond to my telegram.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Work

Assembly Line: The notion that if a job is worth doing, it’s worth repeating 9,614 times a day.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.

Murphy’s Laws Work

I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Work

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

(1940 – ) English politician
Work