Subject: Work (Page 22)

Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Activities Communication Language Work

Tailor: An occupation that suits everyone.

Definitions Occupations Work

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

Don't pay any attention to the critics; don't even ignore them.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Misspokements Occupations Opinion

My boss told me to get my butt in gear… I told him I was shiftless.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Communication Language Work

I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Work

People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.

(1946 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

Time Work

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center, but it’s no place actually to get any work done.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Activities Work

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a child-minder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

(1929 – 1994) English playwright, screenwriter & actor
Education Occupations Work

It’s not the work that keeps most people from doing volunteer work, it’s the pay!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Work

The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job… especially if you’ve got hay fever

(1964 – ) English comedian
Health Occupations Work

It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Work

Incompetence tends to increase with the level of work performed. And naturally the individual’s staff needs will increase as his level of incompetence increases.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The taxpayer… that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the Civil Service examination.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Health People Self Work

The one time during the day you lean back and relax is the one time the boss walks by.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Executive: A person who can take two hours for lunch without anybody missing him.

Definitions Occupations

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports Work

To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take, multiply by two, and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. (Example: allocate two days for a one-hour task)

Murphy’s Laws Time Work