Subject: Work (Page 22)

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are always funny.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

(1874 – 1963) American poet

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher

A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

Matt Thompson (1965 – ) American comedian

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

A consultant is someone you pay a hundred-dollars-an-hour to give you the same advice you ignore from your assistant.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

Job: A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

When a great many people are unable to find work, unemployment results.

(1872 – 1933) 30th U.S. president

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Retirement means twice as much husband on half as much money.

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

(1911 – ) American editor & writer

There are worse things in life than death… and if you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

Meetings are a great trap; however, they are indispensable when you don’t want to do anything.

(1908 – 2006) Canadian-American economist