Subject: Work (Page 23)

I used to be a hot-tar roofer… yeah, I remember that day.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Work

If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.

Money People Women Work

Confusion creates jobs.

Murphy’s Laws Work

If you want it done quickly, it won't be done correctly.

Murphy’s Laws Work

He never seemed to be doing anything, and yet he did not like to be disturbed at it.

(1807 – 1892) American poet & advocate of the abolition of slavery
Characteristics Situations Work

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Success Work

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

(1940 – ) English politician
Work

Rosten’s First Law: First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Occupations Sports Work

Employment Agency: Where people are put in their place.

Definitions Work

You know I'm the only Iraqi comedian… yeah true… at least that makes us three more than Germany.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Occupations People Places Work

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Definitions Occupations

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

(1939 – ) comedian, actress, writer & producer
Characteristics Work

Love can be sordid only if you work at it.

(1952 – ) cartoonist
Emotions Love Work

Cabinet Maker: Counter fitter.

Definitions Occupations

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine… look into that second, less painful career.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Situations Work

You will never plough a field if you only turn it over in your mind.

Proverbs Work

Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one has asked them.

(1828 – 1910) Russian writer
Occupations Work

Growing up, all I wanted was a racecar bed, but by parents refused to get me one.. but now that I’m doing comedy, I get to sleep in a real car.

American comedian
Occupations Work