Subject: Work (Page 23)

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

If you enjoy shaming people, I suggest dentistry as a profession.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Occupations Work

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

(1940 – ) English politician
Work

If you volunteer to do a task that nobody likes to do, you'll be expected to do it every time in the future.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

If I told you I’ve worked hard to get where I’m at, I’d be lying, because I have no idea where I am right now.

(1982 – ) American author
Work

Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Work

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Occupations Work

The first mistake in public business is going into it.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Situations Work

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

(1847 – 1931) American inventor, scientist & businessman
Work

To err is human; to loaf, Parisian.

(1802 – 1885) French writer
People Places Work

I wish I had put ballet shoes on him and not boxing gloves.

Boxing Occupations Sports

Barber: A brilliant conversationalist who cuts hair for a sideline.

Conversation Definitions Occupations

I was in a restaurant that had a sign that said 'Restrooms For Customers Only'… I thought, it must suck to work there.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Food/Drink Situations Work

Toughest job I ever had: selling doors, door to door.

(1970 – ) American comedian & television game show host
Occupations Things Work

Hardening and Tempering Engineers’ Tools

Book Titles Occupations Work

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

You will never plough a field if you only turn it over in your mind.

Proverbs Work