Subject: Work (Page 23)

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Officials make work for each other.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

A censor has the peculiar faculty of banning just what we want to hear, see,

Occupations Work

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Murphy’s Laws Work

It's on the other side.

Things Work

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Money Things Work

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work

In a surplus labor economy, the squeaking wheel does not get the grease; it gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.

(1889 – 1944) English historian
History Occupations Time

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.

(1894 – 1980) American labor organizer
Occupations Work

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

I really like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

When we’re unemployed, we’re called lazy; when the whites are unemployed, it’s called a depression.

(1941 – ) American civil rights activist & Baptist minister
People Situations Work

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

I am not the editor of a newspaper and shall always try to do right and be good so that God will not make me one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Occupations Work

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Love can be sordid only if you work at it.

(1952 – ) cartoonist
Emotions Love Work

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Work

Author: A writer with connections in the publishing industry.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Occupations Work

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth