Subject: Work (Page 23)

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work

Dentist: A person who runs a filling station.

Definitions Occupations

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

Most people are so lazy, they don't even exercise good judgement!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Exercise Work

Officials make work for each other.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Management: A class of semi-skilled corporate hirelings whose rise within the organization correlates directly with the amount of work they delegate to their more-talented underlings.

Definitions Work

If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
Time TV/Movie Quotes Work

A censor has the peculiar faculty of banning just what we want to hear, see,

Occupations Work

Dance like it hurts… love like you need money… work when people are watching.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Dance Emotions Entertainment Work

I went on a job interview and the lady asked me if I’d pass a drug test; I said, “Yeah, if it’s written.”

American comedian
Drugs Work

Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Work

Those who rise to executive positions lack the qualifications for anything lower.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Working at the Job center has to be a tense job… knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.


Occupations Work

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Money Time Work

Much work, much food; little work, little food; no work, burial at sea.

Food/Drink Life Murphy’s Laws Work

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Work

It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.

Murphy’s Laws Work

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Individuals Work