Subject: Work (Page 23)

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
New York City Occupations Places Work

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Government Politicians Work

The difference between a chef and a cook is the difference between a wife and a prostitute; cooks do meals for people they know and love, chefs do it anonymously for anyone who’s got the price.

(1954 – ) British writer & critic
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.

(1921 – 1995) American comedian & actor
Work

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Work

A pin has as much head as some authors and a good deal more point.

(1802 – 1870) American writer & editor
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Government Money Taxes Work

We’re all endowed with God-given talents… mine happens to be hitting people in the head.

American boxing champion
Boxing Occupations Sports

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Housework Work

Since I didn't want to go round mugging old ladies or robbing banks, I took up boxing.

English boxer
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Work

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there’s not a lot of teaching involved in that.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Occupations Work

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Entertainment Film People Work

I was a trampoline salesman… off and on.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Work

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work

Sailors ought never to go to church; they ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Occupations Work

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

Realtor: A man with lots to sell.

Definitions Occupations Wordplay

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work