Subject: Work (Page 25)

Days off.

(1900 – 1967) American film actor
Acting Entertainment Film Work

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Characteristics Situations Work

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

ventriloquist dummy of Edgar Bergen (1903 – 1978)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.

Definitions Work

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Doctors Health Work

It's on the other side.

Things Work

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

I started my career in kindergarten playing a tube of toothpaste in a hygiene play.

(1945 – ) American actor, director, comedian, producer & author
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Work

If you don’t have a bad back by the time you’re 60, then you haven’t done anything in your life.

baseball manager
Health Work

Success means only doing what you do well, letting someone else do the rest.

Murphy’s Laws Success Work

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

School teachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday.

Education Occupations Work

I'll do anything to keep from working for a living; if I've gotta fight a circus bear, then let's get the drawers on him and get it on!

(1950 – ) American boxer & actor
Boxing Occupations Sports Work

Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.

Definitions Work

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death Insults Occupations People Work

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Entertainment Occupations Speech Work

If a company’s most valuable resource is its people, how come the employees aren’t locked up, but the toilet paper is in a reinforced steel box with a lock, bolted to the stall?

Situations Work