Subject: Work (Page 25)

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Definitions Occupations

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Occupations Work

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Alimony is the curse of the writing classes.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
Communication Marriage Occupations Reading/Writing

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air; a psychotic is the person who lives in it; a psychiatrist is the one who collects the rent.

(1915 – 2004) American playwright & author
Occupations People Work

Well, we can't stand about here doing nothing; people will think we're workmen.

(1918 – 2002) Irish comedian, writer, musician, poet & playwright
Work

Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.

Work

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

(1925 – ) writer
Success Work

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.

(1892 – 1984) American publisher
Occupations Work

He never seemed to be doing anything, and yet he did not like to be disturbed at it.

(1807 – 1892) American poet & advocate of the abolition of slavery
Characteristics Situations Work

The first ninety percent of the task takes ninety percent of the time, and the last ten percent takes the other ninety percent.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Occupations Work

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

For [my husband], getting out of bed in the morning is a career move.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Situations Sleep Work

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Murphy’s Laws Work

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

Taxidermist: A man who mounts animals.

Animals Definitions Occupations