Subject: Work (Page 25)

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

I manufactured clown shoes… which was no small feat.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

If you volunteer to do a task that nobody likes to do, you'll be expected to do it every time in the future.

Murphy’s Laws Situations Work

He never seemed to be doing anything, and yet he did not like to be disturbed at it.

(1807 – 1892) American poet & advocate of the abolition of slavery
Characteristics Situations Work

Those who rise to executive positions lack the qualifications for anything lower.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Union: A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.

Definitions Work

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is… and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Housework Work

Housekeeping ain't no joke.

(1832 – 1888) novelist
Housework Work

I'll never forget the time they gave me a farewell party at work. I was so surprised – I didn't even know I was fired.

comedian
Work

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Housework Women Work

It (a cubicle) basically says, like, 'You know what?… we don't think you're smart enough for an office, but we don't want you to look at anybody.'

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence Work

1. Any line, however short, is still too long.
2. Work is the crabgrass of life, but money is the water that keeps it green.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Statistician: A person who can draw a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion. 

Definitions Occupations Science/Weather

The probability of arriving at the job site without a needed tool or with the wrong hardware are directly proportional with the square of the travel distance.
Corollary: You will always have what you need when the job is next to your shop.

Murphy’s Laws Things Work

Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the ark.

People Work

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work

The chief distinction of a diplomat is that he can say no in such a way that it sounds like yes.

(1897 – 1972) Canadian prime minister
Government Occupations Work

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

Statistician: A person who believes that if you put your head in a furnace and your feet in a bucket of iced water, on the average you should feel reasonably comfortable.

Definitions Occupations

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Murphy’s Laws People Work