Subject: Work (Page 26)

Anyone having supervisory responsibility for the completion of a task will invariably protest that more resources are needed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day’s work.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws Work

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Rosten’s First Law: First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

The speed of exit of a civil servant is directly proportional to the quality of his service.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Work

Statistician: One who knows which numbers to use in any eventuality.

Definitions Occupations

… there are three sexes – men, women, and clergymen.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Occupations People

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

Security isn’t. Management can’t. Sales promotions don’t. Customer assistance doesn’t. Worker’s won’t.

Murphy’s Laws Work

The taxpayer… that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the Civil Service examination.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Housework Work

The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.

Murphy’s Laws Work

An economist is someone who, on being shown something that works in practice, wonders if it would work in theory.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Occupations Work