Subject: Work (Page 26)

Sailors ought never to go to church; they ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

(1866 – 1946) English author

I live in a two-income household… but who knows how long my mom can keep that up.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer

Farming looks easy when your plow is a pencil and you’re a thousand miles from a cornfield.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General

Ambassador: An honest man sent abroad to lie for the good of his country.

(1568 – 1639) English author, diplomat & politician

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

The amount of work done varies inversely with the amount of time spent in the office.

If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person – they will find an easier way to do it.

Only a fool can reproduce another fool’s work.

Never take a reference from a clergyman; they always want to give someone a second chance.

Housekeeping ain't no joke.

(1832 – 1888) novelist

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician

When we’re unemployed, we’re called lazy; when the whites are unemployed, it’s called a depression.

(1941 – ) American civil rights activist & Baptist minister

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian