Subject: Work (Page 3)

If a man smiles all the time he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Time Work

The dubious privilege of a freelance writer is he’s given the freedom to starve anywhere.

(1904 – 1979) Jewish-American humorist, author & screenwriter
Occupations Work

The one who says it can’t be done shouldn’t interrupt the one doing it.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer
Computers Occupations Things Work

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Housework Women Work

You know it’s time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Housework Work

This isn’t exactly a stable business; it’s like trying to stand up in a canoe with your pants down.

(1925 – 2011) American actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

Everybodyworks for the sales department

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Judge: Mr. Smith, have you ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that youth and discretion are ill-wed companions?

Smith: Indeed I have, your Honour; and has your Honour ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that a much talking Judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Insults Occupations Work

Bob Porter: Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.

(1967 – ) American actor
TV/Movie Quotes Work

An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Occupations Work

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Characteristics Expressions Work

‘Son, I don’t think you’re cut out to be a mime.’ ‘Was it something I said?’ asks the son. ‘Yes.’

(Daniel Barker) British comedian, voice-artist & actor
Communication Occupations Speech Work

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
Success Time Work

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

Losing my virginity was a career move.

(1958 – ) American singer, actress & entrepreneur
Sex Work

Diplomat: A headwaiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally. 

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
Government Occupations

My career must be slipping… this is the first time I’ve been available to pick up an award.

(1933 – ) English actor
Success Work

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Entertainment Film People Work