Subject: Work (Page 4)

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Nurses: Patient people.

Definitions Health Occupations

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

You think when gym teachers are younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Education Occupations Work

Basic research is what I am doing when I don't know what I am doing.

(1912 – 1977) German-born rocket engineer
Activities Work

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

(1974 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Manicurist: A girl who makes money hand over fist.

Definitions Occupations Work

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Entertainment Occupations Speech Work

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Housework Women Work

All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Money TV/Movie Quotes Work

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix’ that's why he's never worked.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Husbands Marriage Work

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

(1915 – 1998) American professor of literature
Work

There's no real need to do housework – after four years it doesn't get any worse.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Housework Situations Work

Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Occupations Work

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Money Work

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Marriage Money Work

If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Work

When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.

(1902 – 1991) Polish Jewish American author
Communication Lies Occupations Reading/Writing Work