Subject: Work (Page 5)

Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Definitions Occupations

If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

In Manhattan, every flat surface is a potential stage and every inattentive waiter an unemployed, possibly unemployable, actor.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
New York City Occupations Places Work

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education Occupations Sleep

If I were a grave-digger, or even a hangman, there are some people I could work for with a great deal of enjoyment.

(1803 – 1857) English writer
Death Insults Occupations People Work

I used to have a job as a pantomime horse, but quit while I was a head.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language Work

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Murphy’s Laws Work

First rate mathematicians choose first rate people, but second rate mathematicians choose third rate people.

(1906 – 1998) French mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

We are paid to have dirty minds.

(1903 – 1986) American film censor
Entertainment Film Occupations Work

A man can do more than he thinks he can, but he usually does less than he thinks he does.

(1863 – 1945) British politician & statesman
Situations Work

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Work

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Work

The Pope has come out and said that only 2 per cent of Catholic priests are paedophiles; unfortunately, that  2 per cent is their penis.

Canadian comedian
Occupations Work

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Marriage Money Work

In modern business it is not the crook who is to be feared most, it is the honest man who doesn't know what he is doing.

(1874 – 1962) American industrialist, lawyer & diplomat
Honesty Work

I would not want to be a mobile home repo man… Knock knock… “Hi, would you go cut your grass and look that way for a half an hour?”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Occupations Work

The only problem with having nothing to do is you can't stop and rest.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Problems Situations Work

The schoolteacher is certainly underpaid as a child-minder, but ludicrously overpaid as an educator.

(1929 – 1994) English playwright, screenwriter & actor
Education Occupations Work

The only reason people work for airlines is because the Nazi party is no longer hiring.

(1983 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Every employee begins at his level of competence.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work