Subject: Work (Page 5)

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

The Lord taught me to love everybody, but the last ones I learned to love were the sportswriters.

(1922 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Occupations Sports Work

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Wordplay Work

I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Autos Things Work

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Success Work

If you break 100, watch your golf; if you break 80, watch your business.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Golf Sports Work

Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the amount of work already completed.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Hockey is the only job I know where you get paid to have a nap on the day of the game.

(1958 – ) Canadian hockey player & announcer
Hockey Sports Work

Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)
Marriage Work

I think housework is far more tiring and frightening than hunting is… and yet after hunting we had eggs for tea and were made to rest for hours, but after housework people expect one to go on just as if nothing special had happened.

(1904 – 1973) English novelist & biographer
Housework Work

A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

(1911 – ) American editor & writer
Government Occupations

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Definitions Occupations Work

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Communication Intelligence Occupations Work

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.

Murphy’s Laws Time Work

Too many people are ready to carry the stool when the piano needs to be moved.

Work

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

(1940 – ) English politician
Work

Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings.

(1934 – 2010) American baseball manager
Occupations People Self Work