Subject: Work (Page 5)

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian
Men Money People Women Work

If you have a choice of selling shoes to ladies or giving birth to a flaming porcupine… look into that second, less painful career.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Situations Work

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Work

I really like what mechanics wear… overall.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Clothing Work

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Auctioneer: The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.

Definitions Occupations

Most people still believe in a hard day’s work, but they also believe it should be spread out over the course of a week or two.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Time Work

The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work

Putting an ex-fighter in the business world is like putting silk stockings on a pig.

boxing manager, trainer & cornerman
Boxing Occupations Sports

Baker: A person who kneads the dough.

Definitions Occupations

One thing about being a cabbie is that you don’t have to worry about being fired from a good job.

(1935 – ) American actor
Occupations TV/Movie Quotes Work

A trade unionist is someone who hates his job and is afraid someone will take it from him.

(1942 – ) British politician
Work

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

(1913 – 1996) Hungarian mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

An editor is someone who separates the wheat from the chaff and then prints the chaff.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
Communication Definitions Occupations

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Communication Wordplay Work

The longer the title, the less important the job.

(1922 – 2012) American historian, author, U.S. Representative & Senator (South Dakota)
Occupations Work

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education Occupations Sleep

Boss: A personal dictator appointed to those of us fortunate enough to live in free societies.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Work

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Government Money Taxes Work

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People