Subject: Work (Page 6)

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Success Work

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce?

(1974 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

It’s amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Success Work

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

Most bosses never lift a finger at work, unless it’s to point out something you did wrong.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Mistakes Work

Employees in a hierarchy do not really object to incompetence in their colleagues.

Murphy’s Laws Work

There may be said to be three sorts of lawyers, able, unable, and lamentable.

(1805 – 1864) English editor, novelist & sporting writer
Lawyers Occupations Work

The longer the title, the less important the job.

Murphy’s Laws Work

I once had an accountant who was so good with numbers he eventually got to wear one for ten to fifteens years.

American comedy writer
Occupations Work

Who says nothing is impossible?… some people do it every day!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Work

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Work

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Time Work

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

(1925 – ) writer
Success Work

Everyone should have to wait tables for one year of their lives, so they realize their ranch dressing isn’t that fucking important.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Life Occupations People Work

I learned in business that you had to be very careful when you told somebody that’s working for you to do something, because the chances were very high he’d do it; in government, you don’t have to worry about that.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics Government Occupations People Work

The one who says it can’t be done shouldn’t interrupt the one doing it.

Murphy’s Laws Work

After a salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you had before.

Money Murphy’s Laws Work

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.

(1921 – 1995) American comedian & actor
Work

Officials make work for each other.

Murphy’s Laws People Work