Subject: Work (Page 7)

Every employee begins at his level of competence.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Drama Critic: A person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.

Definitions Occupations Reviews/Criticism

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work

I'll never forget the time they gave me a farewell party at work. I was so surprised – I didn't even know I was fired.

comedian
Work

When I was younger, my mother told me, "Mitch, some day you're going to have to move out of the house and get a job" … well, today is the day, that's why I'm here with you people.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Situations Work

Sometimes I wish I could do at least one thing at a time.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Work

What’s interesting about sports writers is that they don’t know how to play sports, and a lot of them don’t know how to write.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Murphy’s Laws Work

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

There would never be any public agreement among doctors if they did not agree to agree on the main point of the doctor being always on the right.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Doctors Health Occupations Work

An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible.

(1892 – 1984) American publisher
Occupations Work

Stress is your body's way of saying you haven't worked enough unpaid overtime.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
Body Characteristics Money Work

I think that’s what they call professional courtesy.

(1897 – 1953) American writer & producer
Occupations

Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Success Work

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Murphy’s Laws Work

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Money Time Work

Now we are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed.

(1911 – 2004) 40th U.S. president & actor
Government Work

I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

(1940 – ) English politician
Work

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work