Subject: Work (Page 7)

In a surplus labor economy, the squeaking wheel does not get the grease; it gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Losing my virginity was a career move.

(1958 – ) American singer, actress & entrepreneur
Sex Work

Actuary: Someone who cannot stand the excitement of chartered accountancy.

Occupations Work

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Work

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Life Wealth Work

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Old Situations Work

I once had an accountant who was so good with numbers he eventually got to wear one for ten to fifteens years.

American comedy writer
Occupations Work

The pollen count, now that’s a difficult job… especially if you’ve got hay fever

(1964 – ) English comedian
Health Occupations Work

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Situations Work

Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.

Definitions Occupations

He never seemed to be doing anything, and yet he did not like to be disturbed at it.

(1807 – 1892) American poet & advocate of the abolition of slavery
Characteristics Situations Work

When properly administered, vacations do not diminish productivity: for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another week when your boss is away and you get twice as much done.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

In fifty years, he never worked a day. To him, nine to five was odds on a horse.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Four hundred bucks an hour for being sort of nice to sad people.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Doctors Health Money Occupations

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Freelance: To collect unemployment.

Definitions Work

In the morning be first up, and in the evening last to go to bed, for they that sleep catch no fish.

Proverbs Work

Most jobs resemble a sled dog team: no one gets a change of scenery, except the lead dog.

Animals Dogs Murphy’s Laws Situations Work