Subject: Work (Page 8)

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Government Lawyers Occupations Work

To err is human; to loaf, Parisian.

(1802 – 1885) French writer
People Places Work

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Situations Time Work

Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers Society of, The?

(1929 – 2009) British novelist, newspaper columnist & television writer
Occupations Wordplay Work

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Work

Acting is a form of confusion.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Acting Entertainment Occupations Work

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Money Time Work

Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.

Definitions Work

I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center, but it’s no place actually to get any work done.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Activities Work

The first requirement of a statesman is that he be dull.


(1893 – 1971) American statesman & lawyer
Government Occupations Work

Four hundred bucks an hour for being sort of nice to sad people.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Doctors Health Money Occupations

I'll never forget the time they gave me a farewell party at work. I was so surprised – I didn't even know I was fired.

comedian
Work

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Critic: One who boasts of being “hard to please” because nobody tries to please him. 

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations Work

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work

Good Old Days: A block of time which ended a week before you were hired.

Definitions Past Time Work

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Definitions Occupations Work

The No. 1 most dangerous job for developing brain cancer? … plutonium hat model.

(1974 – ) American comedian, actor, producer & television host
Occupations Work

If you don’t have a bad back by the time you’re 60, then you haven’t done anything in your life.

baseball manager
Health Work