Subject: Work (Page 8)

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Proverbs Work

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants.

(1943 – ) American attorney, journalist, writer, reporter & television host
Work

If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.

Money People Women Work

The one time during the day you lean back and relax is the one time the boss walks by.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Judge: Mr. Smith, have you ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that youth and discretion are ill-wed companions?

Smith: Indeed I have, your Honour; and has your Honour ever heard of a saying by Bacon – the great Bacon – that a much talking Judge is like an ill-tuned cymbal?

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Insults Occupations Work

I’ve been temping at the job that laid me off, and that’s awkward because everybody knows I got canned, and they think I’ve come back to shoot them.

stand-up comedian & writer
Conflict Situations Work

When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

Murphy’s Laws Work

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Situations Time Work

First of all, I choose the great [roles], and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and if they don't come, I choose the ones that pay the rent.

(1933 – ) English actor
Acting Entertainment Film Work

The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

What’s interesting about sports writers is that they don’t know how to play sports, and a lot of them don’t know how to write.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I’d get.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Work

We are paid to have dirty minds.

(1903 – 1986) American film censor
Entertainment Film Occupations Work

If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
Time TV/Movie Quotes Work

I now know I’m psychic, because every time I go see a fortune teller, I know everything she says will be absolute bullshit ahead of time.

Miscellaneous Occupations

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian
Men Money People Women Work

The job that pays the most will be offered when there is no time to deliver the services.

Murphy’s Laws Work

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Situations Work

Expert: An ordinary man away from home giving advice.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Occupations People