Subject: Work (Page 9)

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

Definitions Occupations

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

ventriloquist dummy of Edgar Bergen (1903 – 1978)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

Everybody sets out to do something, and everybody does something, but no one does what he sets out to do.

(1852 – 1933) Irish writer, poet, art critic & dramatist
Work

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work

If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes – make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.

(1961 – ) English comedian, actor, director, producer & writer
Time TV/Movie Quotes Work

Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing

Everyone should have to wait tables for one year of their lives, so they realize their ranch dressing isn’t that fucking important.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Life Occupations People Work

Chiropodist: A man who makes money hand over foot.

Definitions Doctors Occupations

If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.

(1925 – ) writer
Success Work

I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

Ninety-nine per cent of the work of the professional bodyguard consisted of one activity: frowning.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Occupations Work

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Appearance Clothing Life Work

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

(1913 – 1996) Hungarian mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

1. Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
2. Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
3. If at first you don't succeed, try something else.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

In the morning be first up, and in the evening last to go to bed, for they that sleep catch no fish.

Proverbs Work

Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you're finished.

(1926 – 2010) Canadian actor
Work

Judge: Mr Smith, you must not direct the jury. What do you suppose I am on the bench for?

Smith: It is not for me, your honour, to attempt to fathom the inscrutable workings of Providence.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Law Occupations Work

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

When I told my mom I wanted to grow up and be a comedian, she said you can’t do both.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Entertainment Occupations Work

Psychiatry is a waste of good couches; why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

(1958 – ) Australian author
Occupations Work

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work