Author: Headline Page 41

Computer Virus Spreads to Humans

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L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide

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Policeman Loses Nose in Circumcision Ceremony

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Apartment Manager Cooked for Missionaries, Sick Friends

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“The top half of the students are well-educated, the bottom half receive extra help, but the middle half we are leaving out.”

Education Headlines

Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency

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Undertaker’s Failure: Let Down By Customers

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Dead Man Gets Job Back

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California Seeks 13,000 Sex Offenders

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Darth Vader Robs Ohio Bank

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Royals Get Taste of Angels’ Colon

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Lovesick Gardener Marries His Lettuce

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Porn Case Has Holes Lawyer Says

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Killer Plants Stalk Queen Mum

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Alaska Warned: Don't Become Florida

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Earl Monroe Learned of An Enlarged Prostate Only After His Wife’s Prodding

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Toads Stop Play In Top Cricket Pub

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Man Eats Underwear To Beat Breathalyzer

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Lawmen from Mexico Barbecue Guests

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Scientists to Kill Ducks to See Why They’re Dying

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Turkey Blamed For Appalling Driving

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