Author: Anonymous

He's a pretty sharp cookie.

Mixed metaphors

“I wish I could remember the name of that card game,” said Tom wistfully.

Tom Swifties

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

Definitions

Don’t be discouraged if your children reject your advice; years later they will offer it to their offspring.

Beliefs Children Family Opinion

CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

Definitions Health

Virtue: Insufficient temptation.

Characteristics Definitions

They'll never buy the cow if they can get the eggs for free.

Mixed metaphors

Skiing may be a winter activity, but some think of it as a fall sport.

Sports Wordplay

Forger: A man who made a name for himself.

Definitions

Like all self-made men he worships his creator.

Insults Reviews/Criticism

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; coincidence?

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

Psychiatrists: People with the same problems as anyone else, but with an accent.

Definitions Doctors Health

Life: A play with a lousy third act.

Definitions Life

“I feel so empty,” said Tom vacuously.

Tom Swifties

Ability: What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Definitions

“Whenever I put on my scuba gear, I get pins and needles,” said Tom divertingly.

Tom Swifties

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Expressions Situations

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things