Author: Anonymous

I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.

One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.

Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Sleeping Bag: A nap sack.

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

The beer flowed like wine.

“Who goes there!” the soldier called out haltingly.

Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.

“This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn,” said Tom slowly.

“This fabric is not good enough to make a bolero,” said Tom unravellingly.

Worst case Ontario.

You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.

Automation takes more people to correct the mistakes.

Honeymoon: The vacation a man takes before starting to work for a new boss.

If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

Doughnut: Holey food.

Bargain: Something you can’t use, at a price you can’t resist.

A lot of people are leaving the company; the nutrition rate is very high.