Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous
I wouldn’t speak to her if I met her in hell and she was carrying ice.
Anonymous
Expressions
Insults
Opinion
Dislike
One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.
Anonymous
Activities
Games
Bridge
Accountant: Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Accountant
Sleeping Bag: A nap sack.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Sleep
Sleeping Bag
Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Wordplay
Giraffe
The beer flowed like wine.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“Who goes there!” the soldier called out haltingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Taxation: The process by which money is collected from the people to pay the salaries of the men who do the collecting.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Taxes
Taxation
“This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn,” said Tom slowly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
“This fabric is not good enough to make a bolero,” said Tom unravellingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Worst case
Ontario.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Scenario
You could just charm the dew off of a honey suckle.
Anonymous
Expressions
Charm
Pleasing
“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Bank
Automation takes more people to correct the mistakes.
Anonymous
Mistakes
Problems
Automation
Honeymoon: The vacation a man takes before starting to work for a new boss.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Honeymoon
If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
Doughnut: Holey food.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Doughnut
Bargain: Something you can’t use, at a price you can’t resist.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Shopping
Bargain
A lot of people are leaving the company; the
nutrition
rate is very high.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Attrition
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