Author: Anonymous Page 10

We all act as one heartbeat.

Mixed metaphors

Beer math is 2 beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

Beer Science/Weather

Etiquette is the noise you don’t make while having soup.

Characteristics

She’s so ugly… when she entered an ugly contest the judges said, "No professionals."

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Desk: A waste basket with drawers.

Definitions Things

Honeymoon Sandwich: Just lettuce alone, with no dressing.

Definitions Marriage

“There’s a high charge for supporters traveling by coach,” said Tom with considerable fanfare.

Tom Swifties

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

We have to get all our ducks on the same page.

Mixed metaphors

The only people who listen to both sides of a family quarrel are the next-door neighbors.

People

She has a four-pocket backend.

Appearance Expressions Fat

She is so fat… she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

Definitions

When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky… a woman already knows.

Dating Men People Sex Women

“This steamroller is amazing,” said Tom flatteringly.

Tom Swifties

Abstract Art: The proof that things are not as bad as they are painted to be.

Art Definitions Entertainment

Long road to hoe

Malaprops

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Communication Definitions Speech

… one says to the other her mum had a cyst on on her aviary.

Health Malaprops

Miser: One who’s perfectly content to let the rest of the world go buy.

Definitions

That man is a real charmer, a regular Don Coyote.

Malaprops People