Author: Anonymous Page 10

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Communication Mistakes Problems

Infinity – where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Science/Weather

“I’ve been waiting to see the doctor,” said Tom patiently.

Tom Swifties

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

You have to take the bad with the worse.

Mixed metaphors

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Sports

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Definitions

Intuition: Suspicion in skirts.

Definitions

Y Chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only.

Definitions Men People

Which way are the tea leaves blowing?

Mixed metaphors

Bathing Suit: A garment cut to see level.

Appearance Clothing Definitions Wordplay

“Is it true that some animals will eat their own babies?” asked Tom literately.

Tom Swifties

Accrue: People who work on a ship.

Definitions

Absentee: A missing golfing peg.

Definitions Golf Sports

At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.

Age Intelligence

“The jelly is 50% set”, Tom affirmed.

Tom Swifties

Love is blind… but marriage is the real eye-opener.

Emotions Love Marriage

Small Town: A place where nothing happens every minute.

Definitions Places

Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Things

He’s not only turning grey, he has a receiving hairline!

Malaprops

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places