Author: Anonymous Page 10

Archaeology is the science that proves you can’t keep a good man down.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Mixed Company: What you are in when you think of a story you can’t tell there.

Definitions People

If there is a substitute for brains it has to be silence.

Intelligence

Friends: There are two kinds of friends – those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you.

Definitions Friends People

I’ll push some strings for you.

Mixed metaphors

Nice Girl: One who whispers sweet nothing-doings in your ear.

Definitions

Interior Decorator: A man who does things to your house he wouldn’t dream of doing to his own.

Definitions Occupations

You have the right to remain silent; anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Communication Law Speech

Entrepreneur: What you’re called when you don’t have a job.

Definitions

Sometimes you just have to let sleeping dogs fall where they may.

Mixed metaphors

Niagara Falls: The bride’s second great disappointment.

Definitions Places Sex

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

Obscenity is whatever gives the judge an erection.

Law Sex

I'd like to be a fish on the wall at that meeting.

Mixed metaphors

Flirt: A girl who got the boy you wanted.

Definitions

Accomplice: One who lacks brains as well as honesty.

Definitions

“Doctor, why do you have to remove my womb?” asked Mary hysterically.

Tom Swifties

Executive: An under-worked, over-paid person who is in over their head.

Definitions Occupations

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

It sticks out like a sore throat.

Mixed metaphors