Author: Anonymous Page 100

To the max degree

Mixed metaphors

“Lights, camera, action!” Tom said directly.

Tom Swifties

Take the ball by the horns and run with it.

Mixed metaphors

Senility: A cleansing of the mental blackboard shortly before class is dismissed.

Age Definitions Old

In the nineteenth century, life was hard for Europe’s pheasants.

Malaprops People Poverty

We heard the ocean is infatuated with sharks.

Malaprops

Sex: The formula by which one and one makes three.

Definitions Sex

He was grinning like a butchers dog.

Emotions Expressions Happiness

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

Ad Hoc: Pawn shop advertisement.

Definitions

Black Eye: A stamp of disapproval.

Definitions

Subsidy: A formula devised by politicians to give you back some of your own money in such a way that you are supposed to think it’s a gift.

Definitions

“Rowing hurts my hands,” said Tom callously.

Tom Swifties

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.

Mixed metaphors

“Who goes there!” the soldier called out haltingly.

Tom Swifties

Center Of Mass: The Priest.

Definitions

“It’s homemade soup,” said Tom uncannily.

Tom Swifties

What a messy house. How can they live in such squander.

Malaprops

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions