Author: Anonymous Page 100

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Activities Beer Food/Drink

Taste: (female Interpretation): Something you do frequently to whatever you’re cooking, to make sure it’s good;   (male Interpretation): Something you must do to anything you think has gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Definitions Men People Women

“My neurotic blood-sucking arachnid has put on weight”, said Tom, his nervous tic showing again.

Tom Swifties

Invitro Fertilization: The innoculate conception.

Definitions

I just asked you what time it was, not how a watch works.

Communication Expressions

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

People

“This wind is awful,” blustered Tom.

Tom Swifties

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Activities Definitions Things

“This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn,” said Tom slowly.

Tom Swifties

The future of the church depends on passing the torch to the next generation.

Mixed metaphors

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's rainin'!

Characteristics Expressions Honesty

Husband: A man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.

Definitions Marriage

Ability: What will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

Definitions

War without France would be like… World War II.

Conflict Places War

Post Office: U.S. Snail.

Communication Definitions

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Education Religion School

A good idea is one that hits the other fellow with a bolt of envy.

Ideas Intelligence

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Definitions Time

This is the problem we are wringing our hair over.

Mixed metaphors

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

He was shaking like a 50¢ ladder.

Expressions