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Chivalry: A man’s inclination to defend a woman against every man but himself.

Definitions

Synonym: A word you use when you can’t spell the other word.

Definitions Language

“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones; “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.

Tom Swifties

… one says to the other her mum had a cyst on on her aviary.

Health Malaprops

“Watch this insect sail through the air,” said Tom flippantly.

Tom Swifties

They live in a two-storage house.

Malaprops

He really grates me up the wrong way.

Mixed metaphors

Up a tree without a paddle.

Mixed metaphors

Hospital Bed: A parked taxi with the meter running.

Definitions

Skiing may be a winter activity, but some think of it as a fall sport.

Sports Wordplay

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Good Breeding: That quality that enables a person to wait in well-mannered silence while the loudmouth gets the service.

Definitions

Narcissist: Psychoanalytic term for the person who loves himself more than his analyst.

Definitions People Self

There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Beliefs Proverbs

Punctuality: Waiting around for other people.

Definitions

Now you have hit it on the head with the nail.

Mixed metaphors

“It’s only average,” said Tom meanly.

Tom Swifties

The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.

Beliefs Opinion

As you grow older, you stand for more and fall for less.

Accidents Age Beliefs Old

Golf: A pastime that gives people cooped up in the office all week a chance to lie and cheat outdoors.

Definitions Golf Sports

We drove around and looked at some apartments, and then we looked at some condoms.

Malaprops