Author: Anonymous Page 102

I'm tired of walking on kid gloves.

Mixed metaphors

Eccentric: A man too rich to be called crazy.

Definitions People

What a terrible cat's after me!

Malaprops

Parking Space: An unoccupied place on the other side of the street.

Definitions

Women: Can't live with 'em – can't live with 'em.

People Women

Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.

Age Definitions

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” said Mary guilelessly.

Tom Swifties

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Intelligence Mind People Self

Education: A progressive discovery of our own ignorance.

Definitions Education

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

Alarm Clock: That which scares the daylight out of you.

Definitions Wordplay

Easy reading is damned hard writing.

Communication Reading/Writing

Sterile Solution: Vasectomy.

Definitions

Taxi Driver: Worker who earns a living by driving customers away.

Definitions Occupations

“I might as well be dead,” Tom croaked.

Tom Swifties

Dreams do come through.

Malaprops

That’s a kettle of fish of a different color.

Mixed metaphors

“It’s become much bigger,” said Tom with a groan.

Tom Swifties

“I haven’t had my photographs developed yet,” said Tom negatively.

Tom Swifties