Author: Anonymous Page 103

Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.

Genealogist: One who traces your family history back as far as your money will go. 

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.

Bad spellers of the world, untie!

“I can’t march any more!” the soldier called haltingly.

Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.

Don't stand behind a coughing cow.

Abort: To correct a misconception.

It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.

Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.

Luck: An explanation for the other fellows’ success.

I’ll be on him like a wild dog on a ham.

You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.

Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

“I got demoted,” Tom admitted privately.

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Among the propensities of humans which almost exceed understanding come the parsimony of the rich and the extravagance of the poor.

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Well, that’s water under the dam.