Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 103
Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.
Anonymous
Definitions
Imagination
Genealogist: One who traces your family history back as far as your money will go.
Anonymous
Definitions
Family
Genealogist
He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.
Anonymous
Frugal
Miscellaneous
Money
Cheap
Forty: The most difficult age for a woman to pass; it often takes years.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Forty
Bad spellers of the world, untie!
Anonymous
Communication
Language
Spelling
“I can’t march any more!” the soldier called haltingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Conscience
Don't stand behind a coughing cow.
Anonymous
Miscellaneous
Proverbs
Cows
Abort: To correct a misconception.
Anonymous
Definitions
Abort
It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Executive Ability: The art of getting the credit for all the hard work that somebody else does.
Anonymous
Definitions
Work
Executive Ability
Luck: An explanation for the other fellows’ success.
Anonymous
Definitions
Luck
I’ll be on him like a wild dog on a ham.
Anonymous
Expressions
A threat
You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Convict: The only person who likes to be stopped in the middle of a sentence.
Anonymous
Crime
Definitions
Convict
He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about
him.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
“I got demoted,” Tom admitted privately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Definitions
People
Liberal
Among the propensities of humans which almost exceed understanding come the parsimony of the rich and the extravagance of the poor.
Anonymous
Money
Poverty
Wealth
Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Freudian Slip
Well, that’s water under the dam.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
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