Author: Anonymous Page 103

War without France would be like… World War II.

Conflict Places War

Spilt Milk: Udder waste.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Awe: Wow of silence.

Definitions

The only thing wrong with being an atheist is that there's nobody to talk to during an orgasm.

Beliefs Religion Sex

“They had to amputate them both at the ankles,” said Tom defeatedly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m going to be intestate,” said Tom unwillingly.

Tom Swifties

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

“These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets,” said Tom apologetically.

Tom Swifties

I got a run in my neon stockings.

Clothing Malaprops

The ship of state has a difficult road ahead.

Mixed metaphors

House: Domicile purchased by married couples so they have some place to pour all their money.

Definitions

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

Animals Exaggerations Places

“Fire!” yelled Tom alarmingly.

Tom Swifties

We drove around and looked at some apartments, and then we looked at some condoms.

Malaprops

He was married to an acrobat, but she caught him in the act.

Communication Wordplay

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.

Definitions

If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.

Characteristics Expressions Situations

Ache: Joint concern.

Body Definitions

“Emily has put on weight,” said Tom emphatically.

Tom Swifties

He was just a splash in the pan.

Mixed metaphors

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People