Author: Anonymous Page 103

Stirred the sea into a bowl of boiling cauldron

Mixed metaphors

“Eating uranium makes me feel funny,” said Tom radiantly.

Tom Swifties

Retraction: The revision of an insult to give it wider circulation.

Definitions Insults

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

Situations

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.

Age Children Family Travel

“I’m wearing my wedding ring”, said Tom with abandon.

Tom Swifties

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

Malaprops Television

Fore: A golf bawl.

Definitions Golf Sports

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

Tom Swifties

Self-respect: The secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.

Definitions

The doctor felt the man's purse and thought it was awfully low.

Health Malaprops

Hypochondria is the only disease I haven’t got.

Health

Camp: A place in the country where a mother sends her children for her vacation.

Definitions Places

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Sports

“It’s twelve noon,” Tom chimed in.

Tom Swifties

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young