Author: Anonymous Page 103

Let's clear up a loose end.

Mixed metaphors

Alarm Clock: Something that makes people rise and whine.

Definitions Wordplay

Upgraded: Didn't work the first time.

Definitions Situations

Judge: A man in a trying position.

Definitions Wordplay

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

“The insect in William’s hand is wearing a yarmulka!” said Tom jubilantly.

Tom Swifties

As useless as a pocket on a cow

Expressions

“We can’t let the fire die out,” Tom bellowed.

Tom Swifties

That will open up a whole new can of issues.

Mixed metaphors

He was grinnin' like a possum eatin' bumble bees.

Miscellaneous

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Activities Games Situations

They live in a two-storage house.

Malaprops

Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions

Knitting: An exercise that gives women something to do when they are talking.

Activities Definitions

Democracy: A state of mind in which every man is as good as every other man, provided he really is.

Definitions Democracy Government

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

She’s not the brightest bulb in the drawer.

Mixed metaphors

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

Ability: What you have to get by on if you don’t kiss-up to the boss.

Definitions

The acrobats are performing freaks at the circus.

Entertainment Malaprops

It's a long road to hoe

Malaprops