Author: Anonymous Page 104

It’s all water under the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

Canada is like your attic, you forget that it's up there, but when you go, it's like "Oh man, look at all this great stuff!"

Canada Places

Bank: An institution that will gladly lend you money provided you can prove you don’t need it.

Definitions Money

“Another plate of seafood for me!” Tom clamored.

Tom Swifties

He's got too many oars in the fire.

Misspokements

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

It would bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.

Mixed metaphors

They tried to make me the escape goat.

Malaprops

Dignity: Something that can’t be preserved in alcohol.

Definitions

He is so stupid… it takes him an hour to cook Minute Rice.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

Problems Situations

Toastmaster: A gentleman who introduces a gentleman who needs no introduction.

Definitions

Did you watch the space shovel take off?

Malaprops

Busier than a moth in a mitten!

Expressions Situations

“Perhaps I will,” said Tom with all his might.

Tom Swifties

Never let a child wearing Superman pajamas sleep on the top bunk.

Children Family

Apologize: To lay the foundation for a future offense.

Definitions

Expert: Any person who has tried and failed – and can tell you why.

Definitions

It’s like watching wallpaper dry.

Mixed metaphors

Wild whores could not drag me away.

Malaprops