Author: Anonymous Page 104

The whole can of wax

Mixed metaphors

Love is a matter of chemistry; sex is a matter of physics.

Emotions Love Sex

Once you open a can of worms, they always come home to roost.

Mixed metaphors

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

She is so fat… when she sits around the house, she sits around the house.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's too late to close the barn door.

Mixed metaphors

Diet Planner: A fast talker.

Definitions

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Umbilical Cord: Baby bungee.

Definitions

She really stuck her neck out on a limb.

Mixed metaphors

A stitch in time saves a poke in the eye with a wet fish.

Mixed metaphors

“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones; “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.

Tom Swifties

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

A falling nozzle will turn toward you and land on its trigger.

Problems Things

Professor: A person whose job is to tell students how to solve the problems of life he avoided by becoming a professor.

Definitions Education

It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

Compromise: A deal in which two people get what neither of them wanted.

Definitions

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Mixed metaphors

He could wear a top hat and walk under a snake’s belly.

Expressions