Author: Anonymous Page 104

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.

Conflict Marriage War

I was so poor, I couldn't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

“I’ve joined the Airborne Medical Corps,” said Tom paradoxically.

Tom Swifties

Adage: To become older.

Definitions

The future of the church depends on passing the torch to the next generation.

Mixed metaphors

Middle Age: That time of life when you'd rather not have a good time than recover from it. 

Age Definitions

Easy Payments: The ones that are easier said than done.

Definitions

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Appearance Body Definitions Wordplay

They live in a two-storage house.

Malaprops

“Let’s all play an A, a C#, and an E”, cried the band with one accord.

Tom Swifties

Due process of elimination

Mixed metaphors

Amnesty: The state’s magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.

Definitions

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.

Intelligence Memory Wisdom

Men are like chocolate bars: sweet, smooth, and heading straight for your hips.

Food/Drink Men People

If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.

Insults Intelligence

He’s about as awkward as a cow on crutches.

Expressions

Even a blind hog finds an acorn now and then.

Miscellaneous

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

“I’m trying to get some air circulating under the roof,” said Tom fanatically.

Tom Swifties

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs; I think of them as stray eyebrows.

Appearance

Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

Definitions