Author: Anonymous Page 105

He had to use a fire distinguisher.

Malaprops

Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.

Definitions

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

“Bad marksmanship,” the hunter groused.

Tom Swifties

“This is where I keep my arrows,” said Tom quiveringly.

Tom Swifties

Bliss: Having no idea what is really happening.

Definitions

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“The bank doesn’t want me as a customer,” said Tom unaccountably.

Tom Swifties

“Boy, that’s an ugly hippopotamus!” said Tom hypocritically.

Tom Swifties

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

You've buttered your bread, now lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

“I was absolutely vitrified,” said Tom with a glazed look.

Tom Swifties

“I told you not to ride that horse,” Tom nagged.

Tom Swifties

“I want to date other women,” said Tom unsteadily.

Tom Swifties

Sex Education: Sermon on the mount.

Definitions Sex Wordplay

She has a photogenic memory.

Malaprops Memory

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Falsies: A helpful aid to any girl in acquiring a disappointed husband.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

We are treading on thin water.

Mixed metaphors

Sleeping Bag: A nap sack.

Activities Definitions Sleep