Author: Anonymous Page 105

Interpreter: A ventriloquist using two dummies.

Communication Definitions Language

Yankee: The same as a quickie, but you can do it by yourself.

Definitions

Ambulance: A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is.

Definitions

Atrophy: An award given to those who do not exercise.

Activities Definitions

Half the people you know are below average.

Characteristics People

Armor: The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Clothing Definitions

You've gotta stick your neck out on a limb sometimes.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… when we milked the cows, we got ice cream.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“I’ve never had a car accident,” said Tom recklessly.

Tom Swifties

We were like two ships sinking in the night.

Malaprops

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

Tom Swifties

“These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8,” said Tom bitingly.

Tom Swifties

Ken already has a good repertoire with the waitress.

Malaprops

A stitch in time saves a poke in the eye with a wet fish.

Mixed metaphors

Philosophers: People who talk about something they don’t understand, and make you think it’s your fault.

Definitions Intelligence People

“Ein, zwei, drei, fünf,”” said Tom fearlessly.

Tom Swifties

“This mental ward is busy,” said Tom crazily.

Tom Swifties

Earthquake: A topographical error.

Definitions

Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.

Definitions

What happened to the first 6 “ups?”

Communication Food/Drink Language

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things