Author: Anonymous Page 105

“I’m not going to give up anything this Easter,” said Tom relentlessly.

Tom Swifties

I am sorry to say that my affluence over my niece is very small.

Malaprops

Dieting is not a piece of cake.

Food/Drink

Puberty: The awkward age when a child is too old to say something cute and too young to say something sensible.

Age Definitions

I'm on a wrong-way street!

Driving Malaprops

Wind: Weather on the go.

Definitions Science/Weather

… behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow.

Malaprops

“I used to feed the lions at the zoo,” said Tom offhandedly.

Tom Swifties

Nail our fingers to the mast

Mixed metaphors

Marriage: The difference between painting the town and painting the back porch.

Definitions Marriage

Their relationship was purely plutonic.

Malaprops Relationships

Do you follow where I'm coming from?

Mixed metaphors Understanding

“I’ve mailed the letter,” Tom assented.

Tom Swifties

Hook: Irritating but highly reliable device used to quickly locate the position of one’s thumb at the bottom of a tackle box.

Activities Definitions

Cleopatra: Queen of denial.

Definitions

Good Neighbor: A fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn’t climb it.

Definitions

I am sorry to say that my affluence over my niece is very small.

Malaprops

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Situations Time

Teacher: A disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

Children Definitions Education