Author: Anonymous Page 106

The Frankincense Monster

Malaprops

“Life isn’t fair,” said Tom darkly.

Tom Swifties

Tears: A good-bye product.

Definitions

He's got too many oars in the fire.

Misspokements

Smile: To expose a portion of one’s skeleton as a gesture of goodwill toward a fellow human.

Definitions

Out of the mouths of babes come things parents never should have said.

Children Communication Family Speech

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.

Mixed metaphors

Diplomacy: The art of letting someone else have your own way.

Definitions

“Pretend we were in the days before railways,” Tom coached.

Tom Swifties

Dentist: A collector of old magazines.

Definitions Occupations

A lot of good arguments are spoiled by some fool who knows what he’s talking about.

Intelligence

“My bicycle wheel is damaged,” said Tom outspokenly.

Tom Swifties

Shyster: The other fellow’s lawyer.

Definitions Lawyers

It's so far removed, it goes right over our heads.

Mixed metaphors

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

I’m getting up on my feedbox here.

Mixed metaphors

Keep your eye to the grindstone.

Malaprops

The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws