Author: Anonymous Page 106

Bimbo: Any woman to whom you pay a compliment, while in the company of your wife.

Definitions Women

Originality: The art of concealing your source.

Definitions

Diplomat: Someone who can lose all the points and still win the game.

Definitions

Asylum: A refuge where unusual people are protected from the world.

Definitions

He's going up and down like a metronome.

Malaprops

Interpreter: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter’s advantage for the other to have said.

Communication Definitions Language

Desk: A dangerous place from which to view the world.

Definitions

“I could stand to lose 50% of my body weight”, said Tom affably.

Tom Swifties

“I’ve removed all the feathers from this chicken,” said Tom pluckily.

Tom Swifties

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Vaccine: A microbe with his face washed.

Definitions Health

Isn't it nice to not have to look over our backs anymore?

Mixed metaphors

Abort: To correct a misconception.

Definitions

“This food tastes of plutonium,” said Tom glowingly.

Tom Swifties

“I’m trying to get some air circulating under the roof,” said Tom fanatically.

Tom Swifties

Surely we'll dig up the past, in order to bury the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening… but this wasn't it.

Situations

Percussive Maintenance: Striking a recalcitrant piece of electronic hardware in order to facilitate a successful reboot, and repeating as necessary.

Definitions Failure Problems Things

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

The whole can of wax

Mixed metaphors

“Here’s the story of the Liberty Bell”, Tom told us appealingly.

Tom Swifties