Author: Anonymous Page 106

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

War without France would be like… World War II.

Conflict Places War

Silence: True wisdom’s best reply.

Definitions Wisdom

… since God's dog was a pup

Expressions Past Time

Auditor: A person who goes in after the war is lost to bayonet the wounded.

Definitions Occupations

Bore: A person who has nothing to say and says it.

Definitions

It’s all moth-eared.

Malaprops

Experience: The name an older man gives to his mistakes.

Definitions Mistakes

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

Intelligence Money Stupidity Wealth

Garage: Something usually built with a house attached.

Definitions

Originality: Undetected plagiarism.

Definitions

Arthritis: Twinges in the hinges.

Definitions Health

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

We are just scratching the tip of the iceberg.

Mixed metaphors

Don't mind me, I'm just a mouse on the wall.

Mixed metaphors

Hanging: A suspended sentence.

Definitions

Pun: A short quip followed by a long groan.

Definitions

“This boat leaks,” said Tom balefully.

Tom Swifties

We are beating a dead drum.

Mixed metaphors

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

Tom Swifties

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School