Author: Anonymous Page 107

“I was adopted,” said Tom transparently.

Tom Swifties

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

Aardvark: In the beginning was the word. And the word was ‘Aardvark.’

Communication Definitions Language

I’m so hungry I could beat a dead horse.

Mixed metaphors

Theres no grass burning under this project.

Mixed metaphors

“That young insect is male,” said Tom buoyantly.

Tom Swifties

He was a very immortal person.

Characteristics Malaprops

Many a man fails as an original thinker simply because his memory is too good.

Intelligence Memory Wisdom

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Education Learning Memory

Dog Pound: A used cur lot.

Definitions

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

“That little devil didn’t tell the truth,” Tom implied.

Tom Swifties

A leopard can't change his stripes.

Mixed metaphors

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Brainstorm: To feign preparedness.

Definitions

“I won’t buy a circuit breaker,” Tom refused.

Tom Swifties

Autumn is the most beautiful time of the year to the person who has no leaves to rake.

Science/Weather

Arsonist: A person who sets the world on fire… at least in a small way.

Definitions

He’s so mean, he’d bite himself.

Characteristics Expressions

The world is full of apathy, but I don't care.

Beliefs Opinion

These two guys are cut out of the same mold.

Mixed metaphors