Author: Anonymous Page 108

“The stock market’s going up,” said Tom bullishly.

Tom Swifties

Committee: A group which succeeds in getting something done only when it consists of three members, one of whom happens to be sick and the other absent.

Definitions

Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.

Definitions

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

Communication Conversation Entertainment Speech

Communism: The cause that suppresses.

Definitions

Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.

Definitions Government Politicians

“I’m just an ordinary soldier,” Tom admitted privately.

Tom Swifties

Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.

Definitions Money

“This game is foul,” Tom groused.

Tom Swifties

Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content.

Definitions Food/Drink

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Contraceptives: What Protestants use on all conceivable occasions.

Definitions

Quickie: No sooner spread than done.

Definitions Sex

Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.

Definitions

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.

Intelligence Mind Situations

“I have those totals for you”, Tom added.

Tom Swifties

Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.

Definitions

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.

Definitions

“How do you start a model-T Ford without a battery?” asked Tom crankily.

Tom Swifties

Virtue: Lack of opportunity.

Characteristics Definitions