Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 108
“The stock market’s going up,” said Tom bullishly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Committee: A group which succeeds in getting something done only when it consists of three members, one of whom happens to be sick and the other absent.
Anonymous
Definitions
Committee
Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.
Anonymous
Definitions
Specialist
The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
Anonymous
Communication
Conversation
Entertainment
Speech
Listening
Communism: The cause that suppresses.
Anonymous
Definitions
Communism
Bureaucrat: A politician who has tenure.
Anonymous
Definitions
Government
Politicians
“I’m just an ordinary soldier,” Tom admitted privately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Inflation: When nobody has enough money because everybody has too much.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Inflation
“This game is foul,” Tom groused.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Dorito Syndrome
Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
Truck Driver
Contraceptives: What Protestants use on all conceivable occasions.
Anonymous
Definitions
Contraceptives
Quickie: No sooner spread than done.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sex
Quickie
Consultant: A jobless person who shows executives how to work.
Anonymous
Definitions
Consultant
Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.
Anonymous
Intelligence
Mind
Situations
Imagination
Voices
“I have those totals for you”, Tom added.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Apartment: A place where the landlord and the tenant are both trying to raise the rent.
Anonymous
Definitions
Apartment
Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.
Anonymous
Definitions
Occupations
People
Economist
Slogan: A good old American substitute for the facts.
Anonymous
Definitions
Slogan
“How do you start a model-T Ford without a battery?” asked Tom crankily.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Virtue: Lack of opportunity.
Anonymous
Characteristics
Definitions
Virtue
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