Author: Anonymous Page 109

Infinity – where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Science/Weather

She’s not the brightest bulb in the drawer.

Mixed metaphors

“We must hurry,” said Tom Swiftly.

Tom Swifties

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

Great American: What speakers call a man when they can’t think of anything specifically complimentary to say.

Definitions

Optimist: An anti-skeptic.

Definitions

Freudian Slip: Foot-in-mouth disease.

Communication Definitions

Classical Jazz: Rock of ages.

Definitions Music

If you can't fix it with duct tape you haven’t used enough.

Problems Situations

Clergyman: A man who undertakes the management of our spiritual affairs as a method of bettering his temporal ones.

Definitions Occupations

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things

Dermatologist: Person who makes rash judgments.

Definitions Doctors Health

Genealogy: Chasing your own tale.

Definitions Family

I looked to see what I could hear.

Mixed metaphors

Sometimes they bite the farm.

Mixed metaphors

“This looks like the fruit of the blackthorn,” said Tom slowly.

Tom Swifties

We’ll do this individually as a group.

Mixed metaphors

Caterpillar: An upholstered worm.

Animals Definitions

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

Florists: Petal pushers.

Definitions

Diplomat: A person who can juggle a hot potato long enough for it to become a cold issue.

Definitions