Author: Anonymous Page 109

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

Definitions Government

He's the meanest man on the face of the universe.

Mixed metaphors

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; coincidence?

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

“Congratulations; you graduated,” said Tom diplomatically.

Tom Swifties

Sex: The formula by which one and one makes three.

Definitions Sex

Gossip: Something negative that is developed and then enlarged.

Definitions

I dozed in and off.

Mixed metaphors

You could have knocked me over with a fender.

Mixed metaphors

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

Gluttony: A sign something is eating us.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

He’s got more dollars than cents.

Expressions Intelligence

Acrobat: The person who turns a flop into a success.

Definitions

Consumer: One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products.

Definitions Shopping

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Time

Interior Decorator: A man who does things to your house he wouldn’t dream of doing to his own.

Definitions Occupations

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

Sex

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

Logic: The art of going wrong with confidence.

Definitions

“I like camping,” said Tom intently.

Tom Swifties