Author: Anonymous Page 110

Stroke: Any forward movement of the golf club that is made with the intention of hitting and moving the ball and is observed by another golfer.

Definitions Golf Sports

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy; one is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives

The perferator of the crime was apprehended by the police.

Crime Malaprops

I'm sweating like a stuck pig.

Mixed metaphors

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

The father of the bride should realize he isn’t losing a daughter but gaining a bathroom.

Family Marriage

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are… but I laugh more.

Emotions Laughter

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

Quality Control: The process of testing one out of every 1,000 units coming off a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.

Definitions

That will round out the triangle.

Mixed metaphors

Reducing: Wishful shrinking.

Appearance Body Definitions Wordplay

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

I have a lot of black sheep in my closet.

Mixed metaphors

It's a mute point.

Malaprops

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

She is so fat… she broke the family tree.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Definitions

“Do you buy and sell stolen goods?” asked Tom offensively.

Tom Swifties

Credit: A commodity that becomes better the less it is used.

Definitions