Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 111
Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.
Anonymous
Definitions
Gardener
Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Bowling alley
Sound Sleeper: Someone who snores.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Sleep
Snoring
Sound Sleeper
The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.
Anonymous
Definitions
Forger
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Anonymous
Life
Money
A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.
Anonymous
People
Gerald Ford
Notoriety
“Use your own hair brush,” Tom bristled.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.
Anonymous
Divorce
Marriage
Alimony
Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.
Anonymous
Definitions
Time
Punctuality
No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
Anonymous
Communication
Marriage
Speech
Wives
“I’ll take that”, said Tom appropriately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.
Anonymous
Time
Bathroom
An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Allowance
Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.
Anonymous
Definitions
Wordplay
Smuggler
Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.
Anonymous
Children
Definitions
Family
Babies
Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.
Anonymous
Definitions
Bridegroom
Coffee: Break fluid.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Wordplay
Coffee
Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.
Anonymous
Communication
Language
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.
Anonymous
Definitions
Anonymous
Dictator: A self-madman.
Anonymous
Definitions
Dictator
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