Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 111
I like a lot of
partisan
cheese on my pizza.
Anonymous
Food/Drink
Malaprops
Parmesan
He was bothered mentally mainly by the physical plague.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“I got demoted,” Tom admitted privately.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.
Anonymous
Definitions
Absolute Pitch
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.
Anonymous
Definitions
Marriage
Agreement
Compromise
Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.
Anonymous
Definitions
History
Occupations
Time
Historians
Now that the ball is in our court, let's go for the touchdown.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Flirtation: Paying attention without intention.
Anonymous
Definitions
Flirtation
I’m just talking out loud.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Creativity: The sudden cessation of stupidity.
Anonymous
Definitions
Intelligence
Creativity
People have the
persona
that all Texans wear cowboy hats.
Anonymous
Beliefs
Malaprops
Opinion
Perception
Texas
Strip Poker: A game in which the more you lose the more you have to show for it.
Anonymous
Activities
Definitions
Games
Strip Poker
Virus: A Latin medical term meaning, “Your guess is as good as mine.”
Anonymous
Definitions
Health
Virus
My husband and I have a
monotonous
relationship.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Relationships
Monogomous
Counsel: Advice with a price tag.
Anonymous
Definitions
Advice
Counsel
I wouldn't touch the metric measuring system with a 3.048m pole.
Anonymous
Language
Science/Weather
Metric system
He’s still green behind the ears.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
“This way to the seabird exhibit”, said Tom awkwardly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
What is the probability that something will happen according to the odds?
Anonymous
Uncategorized
Odds
Impossible Lie: In golf, a ball that is in a position that is both completely obstructed by an immovable object and continuously observed by an incorruptible player.
Anonymous
Definitions
Golf
Sports
Impossible Lie
He reads like a fish.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
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