Author: Anonymous Page 111

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Communication Wordplay

Shakespeare: A man whose writings are so excellent it’s believed someone else must have written them.

Definitions

“I just got a job putting up steel girders!” Tom beamed.

Tom Swifties

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink

Noise: Earitation.

Definitions

Constant change is here to stay.

Situations

Like socks on a rooster

Expressions

Income: The sum of money which it costs more than to live.

Definitions Money

“The sun is rising,” Tom mourned.

Tom Swifties

I feel like death eatin’ a soda cracker.

Expressions Health

“Okay, you can switch on the electric chair now,” said Tom conceitedly.

Tom Swifties

“My compliments to the company that makes the Macintosh computer”, said Tom applaudingly.

Tom Swifties

“Would you like some soda?” asked Tom caustically.

Tom Swifties

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

Definitions Time

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

Hors d'oeuvres: A sandwich cut into 20 pieces.

Definitions Food/Drink

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Definitions Murphy’s Laws Problems

Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.

Definitions

Truck Driver: A man who has the opportunity to run into so many nice people.

Definitions Occupations

Osteopath: A man who works his fingers to your bones.

Definitions Doctors

I am having an out-of-money experience.

Communication Wordplay