Author: Anonymous Page 111

Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.

Definitions

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

Sound Sleeper: Someone who snores.

Activities Definitions Sleep

The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.

Mixed metaphors

Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.

Definitions

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

Life Money

A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.

People

“Use your own hair brush,” Tom bristled.

Tom Swifties

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Divorce Marriage

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

Definitions Time

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

Communication Marriage Speech Wives

“I’ll take that”, said Tom appropriately.

Tom Swifties

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Time

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Children Definitions Family

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Definitions Wordplay

Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Children Definitions Family

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Definitions

Coffee: Break fluid.

Definitions Food/Drink Wordplay

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Communication Language Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Definitions

Dictator: A self-madman.

Definitions