Author: Anonymous Page 111

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

“I’m swimming in the middle of Paris!” shouted Tom insanely.

Tom Swifties

It’s time to grab the bull by the tail and look him in the eye.

Mixed metaphors

That's a hard bubble to crack.

Mixed metaphors

It was so cold… polar bears were buying fur coats.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

“The pool player from USC had to drop out because the proper equipment didn’t arrive on time,” Tom calculated.

Tom Swifties

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

Definitions People

It will be music to your wallet.

Mixed metaphors

She raped him in a blanket.

Malaprops Situations

She's uglier than homemade soap.

Miscellaneous

Taking the bull with both feet

Mixed metaphors

“I’m shocked,” said Tom electrically.

Tom Swifties

Money can't buy happiness; it can, however, rent it.

Emotions Happiness Money

My wife told me that I twist everything she says to my advantage; I take that as a compliment.

Miscellaneous

Plan to be spontaneous… tomorrow.

Characteristics Time

Epitaph: A belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been permanently discontinued.

Death Definitions

Editor: The fellow who makes a long story short.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Definitions Sex

Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.

Definitions

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations