Author: Anonymous Page 111

Gardener: Someone who thinks that what goes down must come up.

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Sound Sleeper: Someone who snores.

The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.

Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.

“Use your own hair brush,” Tom bristled.

Alimony: A system wherein two people make a mistake, and one of them keeps on paying for it.

Punctuality: The art of arriving for an appointment just in time to be indignant at the tardiness of the other party.

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

“I’ll take that”, said Tom appropriately.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

An allowance is what you pay your children to live with you.

Smuggler: One who neglects his duty to his country.

Baby: An inhabitant of Lapland.

Bridegroom: A man who is amazed at the outcome of what he thought was a harmless little flirtation.

Coffee: Break fluid.

Like other occult techniques of divination, the statistical method has a private jargon deliberately contrived to obscure its methods from nonpractitioners.

Anonymous: The worlds most popular author.

Dictator: A self-madman.