Author: Anonymous Page 111

Appendix: A portion of a book, for which nobody yet has discovered any use.

Definitions

“The insect in William’s hand is wearing a yarmulka!” said Tom jubilantly.

Tom Swifties

Ambulance: A vehicle used to show lawyers where the accident is.

Definitions

She had a seashore disorder.

Health Malaprops

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

I won’t miss it one aorta!

Malaprops

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops

“These bit patterns will be more readable in groups of 8,” said Tom bitingly.

Tom Swifties

“We’ll need a higher price at auction,” Tom said morbidly.

Tom Swifties

I'm going to have to kick it off by hand.

Mixed metaphors

“This movie will be very popular,” Tom projected.

Tom Swifties

You hit the nail right on the nose.

Mixed metaphors

He knew how to butter his nest.

Mixed metaphors

Which way are the tea leaves blowing?

Mixed metaphors

He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Mixed metaphors

World: A place that was built in six days – and looks it.

Definitions Places World

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Communication Family Language Mothers

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Children Definitions Family

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

“I unclogged the drain with a vacuum cleaner,” said Tom succinctly.

Tom Swifties

Bay: A body of water surrounded by restaurants.

Definitions Places