Author: Anonymous Page 112

Sanitation Worker: The title conferred on garbage men when they  started earning more than public school teachers.

Definitions Occupations

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it

Government Politics

Delivering her baby at home is the birthright of every woman.

Mixed metaphors

A stitch in time is worth a pound of cure.

Mixed metaphors

“I insist on naming the first male insect”, said Tom adamantly.

Tom Swifties

Beware my friend… you are skating on hot water.

Mixed metaphors

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

Specialist: A man who knows more and more about less and less.

Definitions

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

Half the people you know are below average.

Characteristics People

Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

Malaprops

Caterpillar: An upholstered worm.

Animals Definitions

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Intelligence

Adolescence is the time in life when a youngster is well informed about anything he doesn’t have to study.

Age

He couldn’t grow pole beans in a pile of horse shit.

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

What are you incinerating?

Malaprops

Does a fat boy like cake.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

“I told you not to ride that horse,” Tom nagged.

Tom Swifties

Biting the hand that rocks the cradle

Mixed metaphors

“It only looks like cocaine,” Tom snorted.

Tom Swifties