Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Author: Anonymous Page 112
Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
Anonymous
Definitions
Dirt
She is so ugly… when she walks into a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Wordplay
Rattlesnake
He reads like a fish.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
Anonymous
Body
Cold
Murphy’s Laws
Science/Weather
Situations
X-rays
I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
Centimeter: A parking meter that takes pennies.
Anonymous
Definitions
Centimeter
Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.
Anonymous
Age
Definitions
Teenagers
He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
“I’m on the green,” Tom lied.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
That's the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.
Anonymous
Definitions
Clarification
She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
“This food tastes of plutonium,” said Tom glowingly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I turned a blind eye to all that bad stuff I was hearing.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.
Anonymous
Definitions
Money
Debt
At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.
Anonymous
Age
Intelligence
Forty
No Exit: A sign indicating the most convenient way out of a building.
Anonymous
Definitions
Exit
Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.
Anonymous
Definitions
Consciousness
Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.
Anonymous
Definitions
Food/Drink
Caffeine
Page 112 of 161
« First
« Previous
110
111
112
113
114
Next »
Last »