Author: Anonymous Page 112

“I need an injection,” Tom pleaded in vain.

Tom Swifties

Business Forecaster: A person who is uncertain about the future and hazy about the present.

Definitions

I put the pro in procrastinate.

Characteristics

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Husbands Marriage

Racehorse: A barn athlete.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

You’re the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit!

Insults

Election: When the air is full of speeches and vice versa

Communication Definitions Elections/Voting Government Speech

Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Definitions Marriage

Impossible: What nobody can do until somebody does it.

Definitions

It's like locking the barn door after the nuts have bolted.

Mixed metaphors

Fanatic: One who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts.

Definitions People

Good Neighbor: One who doesn’t borrow his garden hose back too often.

Definitions

Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.

Definitions

You've gotta stick your neck out on a limb sometimes.

Mixed metaphors

Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.

Malaprops

Sinker: Lead weight attached to the end of a length of fishing line to facilitate the speedy disposal of unwanted lures.

Activities Definitions Things

Butt: The body part that every item of clothing makes “look bigger.”

Appearance Body Definitions

Babysitter: A teenager you pay $7 an hour to eat $20 worth of snacks.

Definitions

Diplomat: A person who thinks twice before saying nothing.

Definitions

Pun: A short quip followed by a long groan.

Definitions

“These propulsion systems were used by NASA on moon rockets,” said Tom apologetically.

Tom Swifties