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Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

She is so ugly… when she walks into a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Rattlesnake: Tattle tail.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

He reads like a fish.

Mixed metaphors

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

Body Cold Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Situations

I know who turned off the lights,” Tom hinted darkly.

Tom Swifties

Centimeter: A parking meter that takes pennies.

Definitions

Teenagers: People who express a burning drive to be different by dressing alike.

Age Definitions

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

“I’m on the green,” Tom lied.

Tom Swifties

That's the whole kettle of fish in a nutshell.

Mixed metaphors

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Clarification: To fill in the background with so many details that the foreground goes underground.

Definitions

She is so stupid… when you said it was chilly outside she went and got a bowl.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

“This food tastes of plutonium,” said Tom glowingly.

Tom Swifties

I turned a blind eye to all that bad stuff I was hearing.

Mixed metaphors

Debt: A trap which a man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.

Definitions Money

At twenty, we don’t care what the world thinks of us; at thirty, we worry about what it’s thinking of us; at forty, we discover it isn’t thinking about us at all.

Age Intelligence

No Exit: A sign indicating the most convenient way out of a building.

Definitions

Consciousness: The annoying time between naps.

Definitions

Caffeine: One of the four basic food groups.

Definitions Food/Drink