Author: Anonymous Page 112

“I’ve transferred my money back into a German bank account,” Tom remarked with interest.

Tom Swifties

Couldn’t find his rear with his hands in his back pockets

Expressions Fools Intelligence Stupidity

Communism: The cause that suppresses.

Definitions

Out of the mouths of babes comes cereal.

Children Family Wordplay

Billboards: Litter on a stick.

Definitions

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Age Exaggerations Old

She knocked the socks off the ball.

Mixed metaphors

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Aversion: One side of a disputed story.

Definitions

Patron: A customer who doesn't ask prices.

Definitions

He's the pineapple of politeness.

Malaprops

Education is what survives when what has been learnt has been forgotten.

Education Learning Memory

A vasectomy means never having to say you're sorry.

Health

Taxes: A funding method which allows people to test their powers of deduction.

Definitions Taxes

I'm happier than a woodpecker in a lumber yard.

Miscellaneous

Communism: Liberation of the people from the burdens of liberty.

Definitions Government

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

A bird in the hand is mightier than the sword.

Mixed metaphors

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Definitions Science/Weather

“Those hookers are putting notices in the personals”, Tom advised.

Tom Swifties