Author: Anonymous Page 113

Tabloid: A screamlined newspaper.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

The less a person knows, the more he wants to tell it.

Fools Intelligence

Hula Dancer: A shake in the grass.

Definitions

Fable: A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.

Definitions

Stock Market: A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation’s economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one’s fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression.

Definitions Money

I've hit the nail on the jackpot.

Misspokements

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Definitions Lawyers

Brassiere: A bust stop.

Clothing Definitions

Youth: The first fifty years of your life… the first twenty of anyone else’s.

Age Definitions Young

Air Travel: Seeing less and less of more and more.

Activities Definitions

Justice: A decision in your favor.

Definitions

Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of rationalization offered by the average individual prior to taking a second helping of a particular food.

Definitions Food/Drink

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.

Age

Booby Trap: A brassiere.

Definitions

Dad says the monster is just a pigment of my imagination.

Malaprops

Prejudice: A great time-saver that enables one to form opinions without bothering to get the facts.

Definitions

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things

“We’re off to Scotland,” said Tom clandestinely.

Tom Swifties

You've put your finger right on the nail.

Mixed metaphors

The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on.

Situations Sleep