Author: Anonymous Page 113

Alcatraz: A pen with a lifetime guarantee.

Definitions Wordplay

Babysitter: A teenager you pay $7 an hour to eat $20 worth of snacks.

Definitions

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

I wouldn't trust him with my bargepole.

Mixed metaphors

False Pregnancy: Laboring under a misconception.

Definitions

Revolutionary: An oppressed person waiting for the opportunity to become an oppressor.

Definitions

Apparently: As either mother or father would do it.

Definitions

She has really plummeted to the top of the charts.

Malaprops

Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.

Definitions Emotions

Cookie: A standard method for converting sugar, floor, and butter into body fat.

Definitions Food/Drink

Analysis: An excuse to take something to pieces to see how it works.

Definitions

Statesman: An ex-politician who has mastered the art of holding his tongue.

Communication Definitions Politicians Speech

Fiddling with his guitar

Mixed metaphors

Whistle: Wind having a narrow escape.

Definitions

I'm busier than a stump full of ants.

Activities Situations

Government Deficit: The difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.

Definitions Government

Goin’ around your ass to get to your elbow

Expressions

Long road to hoe.

Mixed metaphors

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

Ascribe: Newspaper reporter.

Definitions

Dilemma: A politician trying to save both his faces at once.

Definitions Politicians Problems