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Rugby: A game played by gentlemen with odd-shaped balls.

Definitions Sports

Politicians are like diapers; they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Government Politicians

Apologize: To repeat an insult with variations.

Definitions

Eating humble crow

Misspokements

Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.

Definitions

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Beyond the question of a doubt

Mixed metaphors

A carpenter was the low rung on a totem pole.

Mixed metaphors

When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.

Problems Situations

He's really low dog on the totem pole.

Mixed metaphors

She's as headstrong as an allegory on the banks of Nile.

Malaprops

“I like modern painting,” said Tom abstractly.

Tom Swifties

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.

Situations

Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.

Definitions Happiness Intelligence

Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.

Definitions

You can dish it out, but you can't take it with you.

Mixed metaphors

That’ll separate the girls from the sheep.

Mixed metaphors

You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.

Dating Relationships Situations

Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.

Definitions Men Women

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.

Communication Definitions