Author: Anonymous Page 114

“The phone reception here is excellent,” he said clearly.

Tom Swifties

We need to look the 800-pound gorilla in the mouth

Mixed metaphors

Matrimony: The splice of life.

Definitions Marriage Wordplay

Cravings: An excuse to gluttonize your way through pregnancy.

Definitions

The real estate agent can give you all the perpendiculars of this listing.

Malaprops

It would bring the public school system crumbling to its knees.

Mixed metaphors

She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

Distant Relative: One who can be very distant – especially when he has lots of money.

Definitions Family

“It’s freezing,” Tom muttered icily.

Tom Swifties

Senior Executive: Anyone with an office on the carpeted corridor.

Definitions

Telephone: A contrivance for letting us talk to people whom we don’t want to meet.

Definitions Things

Average: The poorest of the good and the best of the bad.

Definitions

Abasement: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth and power.

Definitions

Running around like a chicken with its legs cut off

Mixed metaphors

I’d like to be sitting in his shoes.

Mixed metaphors

Absolute Pitch: Completely dark.

Definitions

He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Mixed metaphors

“This blood-sucking insect likes French cheese,” said Tom briefly.

Tom Swifties

Untold Wealth: That which does not appear on income tax returns.

Definitions Government Money Taxes

A sandwich is an attempt to make both ends meat.

Food/Drink

Etiquette: Learning to yawn with your mouth closed.

Definitions