Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Author: Anonymous Page 114
Rugby: A game played by gentlemen with odd-shaped balls.
Anonymous
Definitions
Sports
Politicians are like diapers; they both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
Anonymous
Government
Politicians
Diapers
Apologize: To repeat an insult with variations.
Anonymous
Definitions
Apologize
Eating humble crow
Anonymous
Misspokements
Humiliation
Karma: Justice without the feeling of satisfaction.
Anonymous
Definitions
Karma
Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.
Anonymous
Animals
Definitions
Zoo
Beyond the question of a doubt
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
A carpenter was the low rung on a totem pole.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
Anonymous
Problems
Situations
Ears
Mouth
Trouble
He's really low dog on the totem pole.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
She's as headstrong as an
allegory
on the banks of Nile.
Anonymous
Malaprops
Alligator
“I like modern painting,” said Tom abstractly.
Anonymous
Tom Swifties
I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.
Anonymous
Situations
Philosophy: A study which enables man to be unhappy more intelligently.
Anonymous
Definitions
Happiness
Intelligence
Philosophy
Social Diseases: Germs of endearment.
Anonymous
Definitions
Social Diseases
You can dish it out, but you can't take it with you.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
That’ll separate the girls from the sheep.
Anonymous
Mixed metaphors
You have to kiss a lot of toads before you find a handsome prince.
Anonymous
Dating
Relationships
Situations
Sidesaddle: How men, rather than women, would ride in a truly logical world.
Anonymous
Definitions
Men
Women
Sidesaddle
He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.
Anonymous
Expressions
Intelligence
Stupidity
Tact: The art of knowing how far one may go too far.
Anonymous
Communication
Definitions
Tact
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