Author: Anonymous Page 114

Perfume: What a woman hopes will make her the scenter of attention.

“I have lost all my Hungarian sheet music,” said Tom listlessly.

Our ship was caught in a typhoid.

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Automation takes more people to correct the mistakes.

Taking over the reigns of leadership.

Business Forecaster: A person who is uncertain about the future and hazy about the present.

I put the pro in procrastinate.

“Let’s take a vacation in the south of France,” said Tom nicely.

Doctor: Someone who practices medicine but charges as if he knew.

My girlfriend says that she thinks her husband is the world’s greatest lover, but she hasn’t been able to catch him at it!

The rain was coming down in droves!

“I’m the butcher’s assistant,” said Tom cuttingly.

Keep your eye to the grindstone.

We have to get all our ducks on the same page.

He’s so mean, he’d bite himself.

“No, I won’t give you a note saying you’re excused,” said Tom unwaveringly.

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.