Author: Anonymous Page 115

Always be nice to people on the way up because you'll meet the same people on the way down.

Characteristics People Success

He is so fat… when he gets in an elevator, it has to go down.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

They held a candlelight visual.

Malaprops

Hermits have no peer pressure.

Characteristics

Nothing is so fallacious as facts, except figures.

Beliefs Facts

“I see myself as an open-minded person,” Tom said upon reflection.

Tom Swifties

Cheerfulness: The art of concealing your true feelings.

Definitions Emotions Happiness

G String: Gownless evening strap.

Clothing Definitions

Kill two birds with one egg

Mixed metaphors

“Let’s take a vacation in the south of France,” said Tom nicely.

Tom Swifties

“This is the wrong tree,” Tom barked, as he climbed up.

Tom Swifties

She is so fat… she laid on the beach and people tried to push her back into the ocean.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I disagree with unanimity.

Beliefs Opinion

Maps: The shorthand of geography.

Definitions

“We can’t have this and eat it too,” said Tom archaically.

Tom Swifties

“I know what herb would taste nice with this,” said Tom sagely.

Tom Swifties

Eulogy: Praise that’s too much and too late.

Death Definitions

Class Reunion: A gathering where you come to the conclusion that most of the people your own age are a lot older than you are.

Age Definitions

“I think I’ve broken my leg ”, reported Tom lamely.

Tom Swifties

Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.

Appearance Body Definitions

It's clear to see who makes the pants here.

Malaprops Marriage