Author: Anonymous Page 115

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Activities Games Situations

Puttering: Woman’s word for man’s work.

Definitions

That room was so small you couldn’t cuss a cat without gettting fur in your mouth!

Expressions

“Let’s all play an A, a C#, and an E”, cried the band with one accord.

Tom Swifties

Parole: A period at the end of a sentence.

Definitions

Bull Market: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Definitions

Nun: A creature of habit.

Definitions Religion

Parking Space: A place occupied by someone already there.

Miscellaneous

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

Education Insults

If the baby is happy, don’t try to make it happier.

Family Proverbs

“The doctor had to remove a bone from my arm,” said Tom humorlessly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Tricycle: A tot rod.

Definitions

Lets see who takes the bite on that.

Mixed metaphors

Penis: Part of the male anatomy which contains the brain.

Body Definitions Men

“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones; “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.

Tom Swifties

American Idealism: Being willing to make any sacrifice that won’t hurt business.

Definitions

“The cat sounds as if she’s happy now she’s been fed,” said Tom purposefully.

Tom Swifties

The city is negotiating with the railway so it can take over the maintenance of the right away.

Malaprops

“What are these berries?” Tom rasped.

Tom Swifties

Chivalry: The attitude of a man toward somebody else’s wife.

Definitions