Author: Anonymous Page 115

Amateur: One who is always willing to give you the benefit of his inexperience

People

Intellectual: A guy who can keep his mind on a book at a beach.

Definitions People

Sales Resistance: The triumph of mind over patter.

Definitions

If you would like to get your wife’s attention – just look comfortable!.

Marriage Wives

“We can’t accommodate any more peripherals,” said Tom bus-ily.

Tom Swifties

That baby's cuter than a speckled pup in a red wagon.

Appearance Expressions

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.

Beliefs God

I used to be indecisive… but I'm not sure.

Characteristics

She may want to tackle that battle.

Mixed metaphors

Newlywed: What you and your spouse will officially be considered until your first anniversary, or until you go an entire week without sex (whichever comes first).

Definitions Marriage

“I wish I could remember the name of that card game,” said Tom wistfully.

Tom Swifties

Tact: The art of saying nothing when there is nothing to say. 

Definitions

Hell hath no fury like a wet cat.

Mixed metaphors

Cartoon: What’s sung when driving your car.

Definitions

We need to have photographic ears.

Mixed metaphors

“Let’s all play an A, a C#, and an E”, cried the band with one accord.

Tom Swifties

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Short Vacation: Half a loaf.

Activities Definitions

“I can see you,” peeped Tom with his hands over his eyes.

Tom Swifties

Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.

Definitions