Author: Anonymous Page 115

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

Key Ring: A handy little gadget that allows you to lose all your keys at once.

Definitions Things

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

“Here’s another baseball glove”, Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

Eunuch: One who is cut off from temptation.

Body Definitions

I dozed in and off.

Mixed metaphors

This snowball is coming down the mountain with a full head of steam.

Mixed metaphors

Alarm clock: An instrument used to wake up people who have no kids.

Children Definitions Family Things

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

Education Insults

Debts: The certain outcome of an uncertain income.

Definitions Money

Arabs wear turbines on their heads.

Clothing Malaprops

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

Government Politics

“There’s room for one more,” Tom admitted.

Tom Swifties

Goin’ around your ass to get to your elbow

Expressions

Hey, I hope you can help me, I’m kind of up against the gun here.

Mixed metaphors

Forget that guy – just illiterate him from your memory.

Malaprops Memory

Sunday School: A prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

Definitions

Some people pay their bills when due, some when overdue, and some never do.

Money

“I wish I drove a Scandinavian car,” Tom sobbed.

Tom Swifties

The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.

Mixed metaphors