Author: Anonymous Page 115

“This is mutiny!” said Tom bountifully.

Tom Swifties

Prostitute: A busy body.

Definitions

“I clubbed a diamondback snake with a spade,” Tom said heartlessly.

Tom Swifties

“Don’t you love sleeping outdoors,” Tom said intently.

Tom Swifties

He is so old… when he was in school they didn’t teach history!

Age Education Exaggerations Old School

Winter: The time of year when it gets later earlier.

Definitions Science/Weather

“I like camping,” said Tom intently.

Tom Swifties

“That painting makes me laugh”, Tom articulated.

Tom Swifties

Fashion: Something that goes out of style as soon as most people have one.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

Exhaustion: Sufficient cause for the hospitalization of a celebrity – the normal state of existence for the rest of the working world.

Definitions

We were the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.

Food/Drink Places

“Hey, what’s it worth if I help you escape from prison?” asked Tom contemptuously.

Tom Swifties

You’re the sort of person Dr. Spooner would have called a shining wit!

Insults

“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly.

Tom Swifties

That's the pot calling the kettle's bluff.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve got to stop this motor,” Tom choked.

Tom Swifties

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

“We can’t let the fire die out,” Tom bellowed.

Tom Swifties

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

Historian: An editor of yesterday’s news.

Definitions History Occupations Time Work

Bore: A person who has nothing to say and says it.

Definitions