Author: Anonymous Page 116

He’s so chincy, he can call his every dollar by its first name.

Frugal Miscellaneous Money

Happier than a pig in slop

Emotions Expressions Happiness

Cemetery: An isolated spot, usually in a suburb, where mourners swap lies.

Definitions

“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.

Tom Swifties

One way to get a real kick out of bridge is to sit opposite your wife.

Activities Games

Tavern: Thirst come, thirst served.

Definitions Food/Drink

They try to balance a fine line.

Mixed metaphors

Limit: Maximum number of a particular fish that an angler can take in a day. This number varies from place to place and species to species, but it is a largely theoretical restriction with little practical application.

Activities Definitions

Have no delusions about the past.

Malaprops

B-Negative: A pessimist’s blood type.

Definitions

Committee: A cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.

Definitions

Umbrella: A movable roof.

Definitions Things

If you teach a snake to fish, you can lead it to water but it won't drink..

Mixed metaphors

Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in!

Situations

Disc Jockey: A guy who lives on spins and needles.

Definitions Occupations

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations

The first known case of a rat joining a sinking ship.

Insults

Waiter: A guy who believes money grows on a tray.

Definitions Occupations Work

There's a pot of gold at the end of the tunnel.

Mixed metaphors

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

Minister: A travel agent for the straight and narrow.

Definitions