Author: Anonymous Page 116

She is so stupid… she can’t make ice without a recipe.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

“I’m being sent down to the minors,” said Tom beleagueredly.

Tom Swifties

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

“Another work week begins,” said Tom mundanely.

Tom Swifties

It'll be a cold day in January when that happens!

Mixed metaphors

Antique Shop: A junk store that has raised its prices.

Definitions

Karaoke: Japanese for “Drunk with Microphone.”

Definitions Entertainment

“Here’s your allowance for the next two weeks,” Tom advanced.

Tom Swifties

This is just a nightmare waiting to happen.

Mixed metaphors

There are only two types of computers in the world: those that waste your precious time and those that waste your precious time faster.

Things Time

Wedding License: A certificate that gives a woman the legal right to drive a man.

Definitions Marriage

The record cover was a blank slate in 1939 at Columbia Records.

Mixed metaphors

“I see,” said Tom icily.

Tom Swifties

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

A woman who strives to be like a man lacks ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

Bogey: The number of strokes needed to finish a hole by a golfer of average skill and above-average honesty.

Definitions Golf Sports

… to love and to cherish, till death do us apart.

Malaprops

“Okay, you can switch on the electric chair now,” said Tom conceitedly.

Tom Swifties

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.

Situations

Doctor: The only man who hasn’t a guaranteed cure for a cold.

Definitions Doctors Health

What a terrible cat's after me!

Malaprops