Author: Anonymous Page 117

I’m still not sure if I understand ambiguity.

Beliefs Opinion

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Appearance Clothing

Deluxe: Mediocre in a big way.

Definitions

“Rowing hurts my hands,” said Tom callously.

Tom Swifties

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

Egotism: An anesthetic that nature gives to a man to deaden the pain of being a darn fool.

Definitions

Hot Pants: Breeches of promise.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

I rented The Cool Surface last week; words can't describe how awful it is. I'm a big Teri Hatcher fan, but a rental… is $2.75 thrown down the drain. Save your money by reading the attached plot synopsis: 
[WARNING: spoiler follows] Teri Hatcher has breasts. They look OK.

Reviews/Criticism

I wouldn’t be caught dead there with a ten-foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

Famous Last Words: “This is easy.”

Death Definitions

Newlywed: A man who puts up the storm windows the first time his wife suggests it.

Definitions Marriage

We kill people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

Conflict Killing

Make like a tree and head out.

Mixed metaphors

Once the horse is out of the barn, you can't put him back again.

Mixed metaphors

“I’ve got to stop this motor,” Tom choked.

Tom Swifties

“That is a sick bird,” said Tom illegally.

Tom Swifties

Chicken: An egg's way of making more eggs.

Animals

It's as dark as the inside of a cow.

Expressions

A seven pound baby arrived last night to frighten the lives of Mr. and Mrs. Sherman Caswell.

Malaprops

Filing Cabinet: A place where you lose things alphabetically.

Definitions

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

Education Insults