Author: Anonymous Page 118

Budget: An attempt to live below your yearnings.

Definitions

Anoint: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Definitions

Don't count all your eggs in one basket.

Mixed metaphors

Is that going to throw a wrinkle?

Mixed metaphors

He's between a rock and the deep blue sea.

Mixed metaphors

Market Correction: The day after you buy stocks.

Definitions

I will be brief… not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech; he said 'I will be so brief I have already finished,' and he sat down."

Communication Speech

… behold, this very day, I have interceded another letter from the fellow.

Malaprops

Spine: A long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other.

Definitions

A falling nozzle will turn toward you and land on its trigger.

Problems Things

Time rolled up like a scroll, while the plague nibbled at the edges of their years.

Mixed metaphors

“Some day, people will be able to file lawsuits against computers,” said Tom soothingly.

Tom Swifties

Acting is pretending, and the most difficult part is pretending you’re eating regularly.

Acting Eating Entertainment Food/Drink Occupations

Discretion: Being able to raise your eyebrow instead of your voice.

Definitions

The acrobats are performing freaks at the circus.

Entertainment Malaprops

Wife: A former sweetheart.

Definitions Marriage

Newborn Baby: Fresh heir.

Definitions

“Those ballet students should be forced to do their exercises in the nude,” said Tom barbarically.

Tom Swifties

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

“I have to wear this cast for another six weeks,” said Tom disjointedly.

Tom Swifties

There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.

Communication Health Language