Author: Anonymous Page 118

Inhibition: Being tied up in nots.

Definitions

Bus Driver: A person who tells people where to get off.

Activities Definitions Driving Occupations

Snoring: Sound sleeping.

Definitions

He is so stupid… it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

It sounds good on paper.

Ideas Intelligence Mixed metaphors

Artichoke: The only vegetable you have more of when you finish eating it, than you had when you started.

Definitions

CPR: An emergency exercise that helps concerned onlookers feel useful while the victim expires.

Definitions Health

Sociology: Journalism without news.

Definitions

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

Whenever you hear the word save, it is usually the beginning of an advertisement designed to make you spend money.

Communication Language Money

Honest Politician: One who, when he is bought, will stay bought.

Definitions Government Politicians

Gentleman: A man who remembers a woman’s birthday but forgets her age.

Definitions Men People

“This Bud’s for you,” said Tom lightly.

Tom Swifties

“I don’t like this Chardonnay,” Tom whined.

Tom Swifties

We will burn that horse when we get there.

Mixed metaphors

He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.

Beliefs Opinion

Wagging Tail: A happy ending.

Definitions

Psychology: The care of the id by the odd.

Definitions Health Science/Weather

Antique: An object that has made a round trip to the attic.

Definitions Things

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs; I think of them as stray eyebrows.

Appearance