Author: Anonymous Page 118

Punctuality: The art of guessing correctly how late the other party is going to be.

Doughnut: Holey food.

Awe: Wow of silence.

Those people all corregated over there.

The acrobats are performing freaks at the circus.

Fishing License: Permit issued upon payment of a modest fee that allows fishermen to lose lures in a specified area.

He’s still green behind the ears.

When you boil it down to its nuts and bolts

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey.

Candidate: A person who asks for money from the wealthy and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.

Accordion: A bagpipe with pleats.

“Are you homosexual?” Tom queried gaily.

Artificial Insemination: Impregnation without representation and procreation without recreation.

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn.

It dawned across my head.

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

“Can I become a chorister?” Tom inquired.

The most important decision is that of excepting Jesus in your life.

“Pass me the shellfish,” said Tom crabbily.

“I’ve got sand in my dinner,” said Tom grittily.

Agnostic: A person who says that he knows nothing about God and, when you agree with him, he becomes angry.