Author: Anonymous Page 118

“I work at a bank,” said Tom tellingly.

Tom Swifties

A liberal’s generosity is only limited by your income.

Beliefs Government

A missionary is a person who teaches cannibals to say grace before they him.

People

Heckler: A guy who ribs you the wrong way.

Definitions Wordplay

History: The version of past events that people have decided to agree upon.

Definitions History Time

Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Definitions

“I wrote the book on that subject”, said Tom authoritatively.

Tom Swifties

I'd walk a mile in a camel's shoes to pass through the eye of a needle.

Mixed metaphors

“I am so one of the seven dwarfs!” he said grumpily.

Tom Swifties

Wig: A convertible top.

Appearance Definitions Hair

“Now no-one can detect my halitosis,” said Tom breathlessly.

Tom Swifties

She really stuck her neck out on a limb.

Mixed metaphors

Politician: A fellow who borrows your pot in which to cook your goose.

Definitions Government Politicians

Forger: A man who is always ready to write a wrong.

Definitions

“I really like hot dogs,” he said with relish.

Tom Swifties

Adolescence is the best substitute ever invented for experience.

Age

As proud as pea soup.

Mixed metaphors

When you don't know what you are doing, do it neatly.

Characteristics Intelligence

“Some of my windows were broken in the storm,” he said, pained.

Tom Swifties

A well-adjusted man is one who can play golf as if it were a game.

Golf Sports

The titles are listed on the movie theater marquis.

Entertainment Malaprops