Author: Anonymous Page 119

Psychiatrist: A head coach.

Definitions Doctors Health

Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of.

Definitions Money Past Time

Carpet: A floor covering that is bought by the yard and worn by the foot.

Definitions

Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by an occasional miracle.

Golf Sports

Argument: A discussion where two people try to get the last word in first

Definitions

A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.

People

She wears her heart up her sleeve.

Mixed metaphors

Boxing: A mutual affliction of brain damage for the amusement of the public.

Boxing Definitions Sports

He’s so lazy he wouldn’t work in a pie factory.

Characteristics Expressions Work

Electile Dysfunction: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party.

Definitions Elections/Voting Government

As proud as pea soup.

Mixed metaphors

Perfume: What a woman hopes will make her the scenter of attention.

Definitions Wordplay

Giraffe: The highest form of animal life.

Animals Definitions Wordplay

Igloo: An icicle built for two.

Definitions

It looks like the cows have come home to roost.

Mixed metaphors

There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.

Beliefs Proverbs

Insomnia: The inability to sleep even when it’s time to get up.

Activities Definitions Sleep

A husband always prefers his wife’s mother-in-law to his own.

Marriage

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Woman: A creature who is either making a fool out of man, or making a man out of a fool.

Definitions People

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Characteristics