Author: Anonymous Page 12

Courtship: When a fellow and a girl are always trying to show how smart he is.

Definitions Relationships

“I’m being sent down to the minors,” said Tom beleagueredly.

Tom Swifties

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy; one is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.

Emotions Happiness Marriage Wives

I want to be sure we don't build ourselves a bag of worms.

Mixed metaphors

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Communication Language

Absence makes the heart go wander.

Malaprops

Yawn: Opening one’s mouth and wishing that others would close theirs.

Definitions

Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.

Mistakes Problems

This is no longer just a bubbling brook.

Malaprops

Tolerance: That uncomfortable feeling that the other fellow might be right after all.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

I'd like to give you a going-away present… but you have to do your part.

Insults

Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only three foods that taste exactly the same as they sound. The other two being goulash and squid.

Definitions Food/Drink

Let sleeping ducks lie.

Animals Dogs Malaprops

Bridge: A game which gives women something to try to think about while they are talking.

Activities Definitions Games

Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.

Mixed metaphors

These two guys are cut out of the same mold.

Mixed metaphors

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

Health

Wig: A convertible top.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Automatic: If something is automatic, that simple means that you can’t repair it yourself.

Definitions Murphy’s Laws Problems

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems Success