Author: Anonymous Page 120

He’s wearing a tomahawk haircut.

Malaprops

Why spend astronomical amounts on so-called scientific research to go to another planet?

Mixed metaphors

You've put your finger right on the nail.

Mixed metaphors

What a dirty trap!

Mixed metaphors

A year ago Gerald Ford was unknown throughout America; now he’s unknown throughout he world.

People

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions

You might think the Channel Islands are a backwater.

Mixed metaphors

God is not dead but alive and working on a much less ambitious project.

Beliefs God

I am sure I have done everything in my power since I exploded the affair.

Malaprops

She tried to use reverse psychiatry on me.

Malaprops

“I still haven’t struck oil,” said Tom boringly.

Tom Swifties

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Life Proverbs

“What’s the value of a dollar bill?” asked Tom noteworthily.

Tom Swifties

Psychology: The care of the id by the odd.

Definitions Health Science/Weather

Graffiti: Urban scrawl.

Communication Definitions Reading/Writing

Barber: The town cutup.

Definitions Wordplay

If the baby is happy, don’t try to make it happier.

Family Proverbs

It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their own pockets.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

The only reason she made it to the top was because her clothes didn't.

Appearance Body Clothing Success

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government

He’s about as awkward as a cow on crutches.

Expressions